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Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages? Rm3W
In the new world, social media users who are different ages increasing day by day. Some believe that it has some risks. While there are both advantages and disadvantages associated with this topic, the positive aspects take precedence over the drawbacks. Nowadays people use social media for beneficial aims. First off, via social network, users can keep in contact with each other. For instance, people who lost their friends informations and could not meet them, can find old friends or share lots of things on social media applications. Additionally, people who at different age groups, learn and find every type of knowledge on social media. A plethora of bloggers or users share their experience and beneficial data about everything. However, almost every personal data can use for dangerous and bad aims. For example lots of deceptive people can create or steal others account or use bank account. Further, social media accounts mostly donnt reflect real life. It is show life and this situaiton can be dangerous and incentive for teenegars and may effect their lifes. Altough there are a few disadvantages using social media, there are plenty of advantages that outweigh the negative aspects. People can use their acoounts for beneficial aims.
In the new world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
users who are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ages increasing day by day.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe that it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
. While there are both advantages and disadvantages associated with this topic, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects take precedence over the drawbacks.

Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
for beneficial aims.
First
off, via
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
network, users can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in contact with each other.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who lost their friends
The word 'informations' is a legal term. In standard English, the word 'information' is a non-count noun. Did you mean "information"?
informations
and could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
them, can find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
friends or share lots of things on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
applications.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
age groups, learn and find every type of knowledge on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
. A plethora of bloggers or users share their experience and beneficial data about everything.

However
, almost every personal data can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
aims.
For example
lots of deceptive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can create or steal others account or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
bank account.
Further
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
accounts
mostly
Possible spelling mistake found.
donnt
reflect real life. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
life and this
Possible spelling mistake found.
situaiton
can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
and incentive for
Possible spelling mistake found.
teenegars
and may
Did you mean "affect"?
effect
their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "lives", the plural form of the noun 'life'?
lifes
.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Altough
there are a few disadvantages using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of advantages that outweigh the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
Possible spelling mistake found.
acoounts
for beneficial aims.
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IELTS essay Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
202 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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