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Smoking is harmful not only smoker also for nearby . therefore it must be banned to public places

Smoking is harmful not only smoker also for nearby. therefore it must be banned to public places Gr0dw
I believe that person who do smoke then it is not only harmful for him but also show negative impact on those individuals who stand close to smoker person so it should be restricted to those places where a number of people meet together. to begin with that everyone knows clearly how smoking can affect someone's life and it leads to cause death of person there is no doubt smoke give more next impact on that person who inhale it as compared to near web person secondly smoking is really dangerous for every person like it can cause many illness in body of human being. for example has a disease such as cancer lung problems and can disturb the cycle of immune system consequently should be banned from those places where a plethora number of people meet together. furthermore, young generation learn from the activities which are done by their elders so it should definitely strict from the location of students because children easily attract those sites where their parents or teacher don't allow to do that is main reason for banned in public places in addition to this a number of people cannot find again this is due to poor immunity so these kind of people can face more problem with the smoke. In conclusion, aforementioned points clear that smoking must be banned those places where public gasing is found because it is very dangerous for another people who don't inhale it.
I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do smoke then it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
harmful for him
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on those individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
stand close to smoker
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it should
be restricted
to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
where a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
together.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with that everyone knows
clearly
how smoking can affect someone's life and it leads to cause death of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
there is no doubt smoke give more
next
impact on that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
inhale it as compared to near web
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
secondly
smoking is
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
like it can cause
Possible agreement error. The noun illness seems to be countable; consider using: "many illnesses".
many illness
in body of human being.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example has a disease such as cancer lung problems and can disturb the cycle of immune system
consequently
should
be banned
from those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
where a plethora number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
together.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
furthermore
, young generation learn from the activities which
are done
by their elders
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it
It seems that a verb or adverb has been misspelled or is missing here.
should definitely strict
from the location of students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
children
easily
attract those sites where their parents or teacher don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
to do
that is
main reason for banned in public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
in addition
to this a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot find again this is due to poor immunity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can face more problem with the smoke.

In conclusion
, aforementioned points
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that smoking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be banned
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
where public
Possible spelling mistake found.
gasing
is found
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
don't inhale it.
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IELTS essay Smoking is harmful not only smoker also for nearby. therefore it must be banned to public places

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
243 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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