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do teenagers need to do unpaid work

do teenagers need to do unpaid work qkNeP
Opinions are divided whether teenagers need to do voluntary community work without any payment or not. Some hold a belief that it is the perfect opportunity to serve the society and also as an individual. In my opinion, I agree that young people must spend their leisure time in community activities. Firstly, teenagers play a vital role in building and inspiring the future generations and lay a path for the development of the society. I think it is a great opportunity to take part in the social activities which, help to understand the morals and empathy. This will play a powerful role in creating the image of humanity in their minds, moreover, progressing their individual ethical values. For a best illustration, working for society welfare will know the importance of team work consequently, handle the conflicts if any arise. Secondly, learning in the real life activities will evolve their ability to think and capability to identify, handle and solve any kind of real challenges in the future. As most of the teenagers are addicted to smartphones and lack in physical health, this will improve their well-being with a balanced life-style, furthermore, they will be more energetic and creates enthusiasm in learning new things. In conclusion, adolescents need to be a part of unpaid work for the society which is a noble cause and parents must encourage their children to participate.
Opinions
are divided
whether
teenagers
need to do voluntary community work without any payment or not.
Some
hold a belief that it is the perfect opportunity to serve the
society
and
also
as an individual. In my opinion, I
agree
that young
people
must
spend their leisure time in community activities.

Firstly
,
teenagers
play a vital role in building and inspiring the future generations and lay a path for the development of the
society
. I
think
it is a great opportunity to
take part
in the social activities which,
help
to understand the morals and empathy. This will play a powerful role in creating the image of humanity in their minds,
moreover
, progressing their individual ethical values. For
a
best illustration, working for
society
welfare will know the importance of team work
consequently
, handle the conflicts if any arise.

Secondly
, learning in the real life activities will evolve their ability to
think
and capability to identify, handle and solve any kind of real challenges in the future. As most of the
teenagers
are addicted
to smartphones and lack in physical health, this will
improve
their well-being with a balanced life-style,
furthermore
, they will be more energetic and creates enthusiasm in learning new things.

In conclusion
, adolescents need to be a part of unpaid work for the
society
which is a noble cause and parents
must
encourage their children to participate.
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IELTS essay do teenagers need to do unpaid work

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
230 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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