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Smoking can cause serious health problems and should be made illegal. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Smoking can cause serious health problems and should be made illegal. VY6KO
There are various opinions about banning smoking and making it illegal. Tobacco and the obstacles for its limitation are the main concern in many countries. I will explain more in details why I think it should not be banned. Firstly, by forcing people to stop smoking, the government is undermining the people’s right to freedom and privacy. It should be people’s choice to whether continue smoking or consider the consequences and stop. Even if the government manages to ban smoking, they cannot realistically control the situation as many people will continue to smoke in the comfort of the houses, away from prying eyes. In many countries the consumption of alcohol or drugs has been made illegal and still, their governments have not been able to reduce the number of cases. Also, selling tobacco, being a multi-million-dollar business, cannot actually be restricted. There are many businesses which will be affected by this restriction. Consequently, by the reduction in tobacco consumption and the demand, companies or even countries, such as Cuba, which are solely focused on tobacco business will be economically challenged and people in these businesses may eventually lose their jobs. Therefore, banning smoking can negatively affect certain sectors of society. In addition, by limiting smoking, economic and social problems will arise as the trades concerning tobacco will move to the black market. People who cannot conduct legal business, will go to the black market which has problems of its own. It is the epicenter of other serious crime, such as trafficking, and can have adverse effects on the economic climate of the country. For instance, alcohol consumption is banned in some countries, but people still buy it from the black market, and the government is unable to stop the circumstances. However, tobacco is not without drawbacks. Needless to say that smoking is not only harmful to the consumer, but also harms those around them. It is a known fact that even the ‘passive smokers’ are in danger of health issues even though they are not directly the user. Smoking causes respiratory diseases such as Asthma and lung cancer. In conclusion, although smoking is considered a health hazard, it cannot be limited as there are barriers that prevent complete control over the matter.
There are various opinions about banning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
and making it illegal.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tobacco
and the obstacles for its limitation are the main concern in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
more in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it should not
be banned
.

Firstly
, by forcing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is undermining the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
right to freedom and privacy. It should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
choice to whether continue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
or consider the consequences and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
. Even if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
manages to ban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
, they cannot
realistically
control the situation as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will continue to smoke in the comfort of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
, away from prying eyes. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
the consumption of alcohol or drugs has
been made
illegal and
still
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
have not been able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of cases.

Also
, selling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
, being a multi-million-dollar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
, cannot actually
be restricted
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
which will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by this restriction.
Consequently
, by the reduction in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
consumption and the demand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
or even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, such as Cuba, which are
solely
focused on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
will be
economically
challenged and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
may
eventually
lose their jobs.
Therefore
, banning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
can
negatively
affect certain sectors of society.

In addition
, by limiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
, economic and social problems will arise as the trades concerning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to the black market.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who cannot conduct legal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
, will go to the black market which has problems of its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. It is the epicenter of other serious crime, such as trafficking, and can have adverse effects on the economic climate of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For instance
, alcohol consumption
is banned
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it from the black market, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the circumstances.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
is not without drawbacks. Needless to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
harmful to the consumer,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
harms those around them. It is a known fact that even the ‘passive smokers’ are in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of health issues
even though
they are not
directly
the user.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Smoking
causes respiratory diseases such as Asthma and lung cancer.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is considered
a health hazard, it cannot
be limited
as there are barriers that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
complete control over the matter.
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IELTS essay Smoking can cause serious health problems and should be made illegal.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
372 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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