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Since the beginning of the twentieth century, child obesity has been increasing in many countries around the world.

Since the beginning of the twentieth century, child obesity has been increasing in many countries around the world. kLXYn
Nowadays child obesity has become a growing worldwide problem. Number of overweight people, including infants, has increased dramatically since the beginning of the twentieth century in both developing and developed countries. Several problems of children`s overweighting will be outlined in this essay and there will be given some possible solutions. To begin with, youth obesity leads to future health problems. Children are already suffering from insomnia and heart diseases which are the results of gaining extra weight. In my opinion, fighting against this rise should start in schools. Governments should modernize PE lessons, which most of the adolescents skip. Most of students have a sedentary pace of life and do not have an ability to use all the energy they get from food. Later this unused energy transforms into fats. For example, in Finland schools adolescents have a chance to choose a kind of sports they would prefer doing while PE classes. This measure has already helped to improve the increasement of gaining weight. Secondly, obesity affects children`s self-esteem and they become less social active. School students are often bullied by peers due to their extra weight. Such teenagers do not feel self-confident anymore, have low esteem. The consequences of this issue are terrible as children lose social skills, have bad relationships with parents and, as a result, many of them have mental illnesses such as depression. To avoid this issue schools and mass media should increase tolerance by making lectures, TV shows that would tell the whole society about our bodies and they are all different and cannot be judged. In addition, they should tell people how to loss their weight properly and lead a healthy lifestyle to avoid anorexia. For example, fashion houses employ overweight models nowadays to demonstrate that we all are equal and our bodies cannot be judged. Furthermore, people can attend a nutritionist that can help them with a diet devoted to losing weight. In conclusion, child obesity is a problem that should be solved not to make children suffer from either physical or mental health problems in the future. Governments should create a friendly environment in schools which lets students lead healthy lifestyle by modernizing PE lessons and creating special classes about our bodies. This are not the only possible solutions. there are plenty of them that could be implemented to improve current situation.
Nowadays child obesity has become a growing worldwide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. Number of overweight
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, including infants, has increased
dramatically
since the beginning of the twentieth century in both developing and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
. Several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of
The character between 'children' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "children’s" (curly apostrophe) or "children's" (straight apostrophe).
children`s
Possible spelling mistake found.
overweighting
will
be outlined
in this essay and there will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible solutions.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, youth obesity leads to future health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are already suffering from insomnia and heart diseases which are the results of gaining extra weight. In my opinion, fighting against this rise should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
should modernize PE lessons, which most of the adolescents skip.
After 'Most of', you should use 'the' ("Most of the students") or simply say "Most students".
Most of students
have a sedentary pace of life and do not have an ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
all the energy they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
from food. Later this unused energy transforms into fats.
For example
, in Finland
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
adolescents have a chance to choose a kind of sports they would prefer doing while PE classes. This measure has already
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
increasement
of gaining weight.

Secondly
, obesity affects
The character between 'children' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "children’s" (curly apostrophe) or "children's" (straight apostrophe).
children`s
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
self-esteem and
they become less social active.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
students are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
bullied by peers due to their extra weight. Such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
do not feel self-confident anymore, have low esteem. The consequences of this issue are terrible as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
lose social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
relationships with parents and,
as a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them have mental illnesses such as depression. To avoid this issue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and mass media should increase tolerance by making lectures, TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
the whole society about our
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
bodies and
they are all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
and cannot
be judged
.
In addition
, they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
how to loss their weight
properly
and lead a healthy lifestyle to avoid anorexia.
For example
, fashion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
employ overweight models nowadays to demonstrate that we all are equal and our bodies cannot
be judged
.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can attend a nutritionist that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them with a diet devoted to losing weight.

In conclusion
, child obesity is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
that should
be solved
not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
suffer from either physical or mental health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in the future.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
should create a friendly environment in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lets
students lead healthy lifestyle by modernizing PE lessons and creating special classes about our bodies.
The verb 'are' is plural. Did you mean "these are", "This is" or "This was"?
This are
not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possible solutions.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
there
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of them that could
be implemented
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situation.
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IELTS essay Since the beginning of the twentieth century, child obesity has been increasing in many countries around the world.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
390 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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