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Since July 1st, 2017, parents must ask their children’s permission before uploading their pictures on social networks. What is your opinion about the effectiveness and necessity of this regulation?

Since July 1st, 2017, parents must ask their children’s permission before uploading their pictures on social networks. What is your opinion about the effectiveness and necessity of this regulation? KlOQN
Nowadays, the exploration of social networks has influenced certain problems, including private rights back. Especially children, who are too young, can not afford to protect themselves. However, parents who just update the pictures of their children, inadvertently harm them make them upset. So that, in Vietnamese, Since July 1st, 2017, parents must ask their children’s permission before uploading their pictures on social networks. In my opinion, this policy is very important and plays a decisive role in today's life when most parents think they can do everything because they are their children. To eliminate this thinking, I am going to show my opinion about the effectiveness and necessity of this regulation. Indeed, this thing causes two main problems that children must face. Firstly, children will feel unpleasant. Technology has invaded today's world as an integral part of everyday life. And social networks seem like a new world, although having the exits of humans, it still is different from real life. People create their new life in that virtual lives. They update and follow themselves and the others, including their children. They show everything off about the children. The achievement, school, house, daily activities. And accidentally, children become the aim of many murderers, kidnappers, . . . Maybe they will have to live in fear every day though they don't know. Or they and their parents will be under threat after being stolen information from what they provide, tell on Facebook, Instagram, etc. In addition, it's possible to be blackmailed or even lose their own children. Secondly, pictures can make children uncomfortable. Usually, parents just post some image because of wanting to show their love for children to everyone, but they don't think so. Children usually attach great importance to appearance, especially when they are at age 17 or 18. If their face looks bad in a certain photo, of course, they don't want to leak it. They always want to show their good side, try to hide the drawbacks. Probably they have the intention of creating the most perfect version of themselves. Therefore, in any situation, discomfort is inevitable, it even causes discussion between them and parents. Even they are their son or daughter, you can not do anything that relates to them without asking their permission. All of us have our privacy, our right back, we completely protest if it's detrimental to us. Besides, children also should understand for parents, for the season why they did that thing. Maybe they didn't mean to make that mistake. Thus, we should be wise in every situation, anyway, it is the best way to solve the problem. In conclusion, social networks have still had risks that we can not be foreseen, it's better to be careful, not except for anyone who can not get the danger. This regulation was really useful and fair. One more time, I want to emphasize that every parent should consider carefully the necessity when they decide to reveal their own life and children. Finally, thank you for reading.
Nowadays, the exploration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
has influenced certain problems, including private rights back.
Especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, who are too young, can not afford to protect themselves.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
update the pictures of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
inadvertently
harm them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them upset.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that, in Vietnamese, Since July 1st, 2017,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
ask their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
permission
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
uploading their pictures on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
. In my opinion, this policy is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and plays a decisive role in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
when most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they can do everything
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. To eliminate this thinking, I am going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
my opinion about the effectiveness and necessity of this regulation.
Indeed
, this thing causes two main problems that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
face.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will feel unpleasant. Technology has invaded
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world as an integral part of everyday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
seem like a new world, although having the exits of humans, it
still
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
create their new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in that virtual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. They update and follow themselves and the others, including their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
everything off about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. The achievement, school,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, daily activities. And
accidentally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
become the aim of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
murderers, kidnappers
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Maybe they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in fear every day though they don't know. Or they and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
will be under threat after
being stolen
information from what they provide,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
on Facebook, Instagram, etc.
In addition
, it's possible to
be blackmailed
or even lose their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Secondly
, pictures can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
uncomfortable.
Usually
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
post
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
image
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of wanting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to everyone,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
usually
attach great importance to appearance,
especially
when they are at age 17 or 18. If their face looks
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
in a certain photo,
of course
, they don't want to leak it. They always want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
side, try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
the drawbacks.
Probably
they have the intention of creating the most perfect version of themselves.
Therefore
, in any situation, discomfort is inevitable, it even causes discussion between them and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. Even they are their son or daughter, you can not do anything that relates to them without asking their permission. All of us have our privacy, our right back, we completely protest if it's detrimental to us.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
also
should understand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, for the season why they did that thing. Maybe they didn't mean to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
that mistake.
Thus
, we should be wise in every situation, anyway, it is the best way to solve the problem.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
have
still
had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
that we can not be foreseen, it's better to be careful, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
anyone who can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
. This regulation was
really
useful and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
. One more time, I want to emphasize that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
should consider
carefully
the necessity when they decide to reveal their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Finally
, thank you for reading.
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IELTS essay Since July 1st, 2017, parents must ask their children’s permission before uploading their pictures on social networks. What is your opinion about the effectiveness and necessity of this regulation?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
501 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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