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Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves?

Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves? WymwK
Wealth of a nation depends on how perfectly it utilizes its riches and wealth as well as the wealth of other nations. In the present times there is rapid industrialization and urbanization in every country. The poorer nations are becoming developing and developing turning into developed ones everyday. The most important feature which forms a connection between wealthy and poor nations is trade. With the rapid changing world it is the wealth of a nation that decides how much it can support its citizens. I agree with the notion that government should provide their citizens with their own facilities such as food and shelter. People's power is an asset which makes nation's wealth in the form of taxes, industries and foreign trade. If the government is unable to take care of its citizens then in no time the nation can be slave bound to wealthier nations. The times are challenging more if the government removes it's support for its citizens. The nation's growth is solely in the hands of the government and those who are living in the country should elect their government wisely. The trade between wealthier nations should be such that it supports the poorer and provides the benefits to both the countries. The poorer nations should develop quality products which could bring laurels to the nation. Hence people would always be happier for the good trading among the nations with different financial stability. People should help each other in making their nation strong as well as providing best support to the wealthier nations in empowering themselves and their developing counties of their own.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Wealth
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
depends on how
perfectly
it utilizes its riches and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
as well
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. In the present times there is rapid industrialization and urbanization in every country. The poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
are becoming developing and developing turning into developed ones
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
. The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
feature which forms a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
wealthy and poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
is trade.

With the rapid changing world it is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
that decides how much it can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the notion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should provide their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
facilities such as food and shelter.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
's power is an asset which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
nation's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
in the form of taxes, industries and foreign trade. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is unable to take care of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
then in no time the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
can be slave bound to wealthier nations.

The times are challenging more if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
removes
Did you mean "its" (possessive pronoun) instead of 'it's' (short form of 'it is')?
it's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
for its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
. The nation's growth is
solely
in the hands of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and those who are living in the country should elect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
wisely
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
trade between wealthier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
should be such that it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
supports
the poorer and provides the benefits to both the countries.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
should develop quality products which could bring laurels to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would always be happier for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
trading among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
financial stability.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
each other in making their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
strong
as well
as
A determiner is probably missing here: "providing the best".
providing best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
to the wealthier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
in empowering themselves and their developing counties of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
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IELTS essay Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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