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Should there be Wİ-Fİ at every public place?

Should there be Wİ-Fİ at every public place? KnJ20
is a modern wireless technology for connecting to the enternet. And at the same time dozens of people have the opportunity to move freely around the word through this technology. Fristly, we can`t imagine our daily lives without internet and wifi. Because the internet is already an integral part of our lives. Secondly, people need to receive or transmit information while at home and at work. Except this, having e wifi in every public place helps people connect more closely with each other. And makes long distances shorter. As well as, the advantage of wifi in public places is that it provides free connection. İn conclusion, the presence of a wifi in every public place is a positive thing.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
is
a modern wireless technology for connecting to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
enternet
. And at the same time dozens of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
freely
around the word through this technology.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Fristly
, we
You used an accent character instead of an apostrophe. Please use either "can't" or "can’t".
can`t
imagine our daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
without internet and
Did you mean "Wi-Fi"? (This is the officially approved term by the Wi-Fi Alliance.)
wifi
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
the internet is already an integral part of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
need to receive or transmit information while at home and at work. Except this, having e
Did you mean "Wi-Fi"? (This is the officially approved term by the Wi-Fi Alliance.)
wifi
in every public place
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
connect more
closely
with each other. And
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
long distances shorter.
As well
as, the advantage of
Did you mean "Wi-Fi"? (This is the officially approved term by the Wi-Fi Alliance.)
wifi
in public places is that it provides free connection.

Possible spelling mistake found.
İn
conclusion, the presence of a
Did you mean "Wi-Fi"? (This is the officially approved term by the Wi-Fi Alliance.)
wifi
in every public place is a p
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ositive
thing.
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IELTS essay Should there be Wİ-Fİ at every public place?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
119 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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