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How organise pupil's club

How organise pupil's club 7JOYy
We know in today's society there are so many sport activities. People can train all types of sports in clubs. These clubs are more popular among the adolescents. Many pupils like the idea of organizing variety of sport clubs at school because every young person has his/her interest and skill. Many boys quite fancy terryfieng sports like hang gliding, bungee jumping or mountain climbing. In their opinion these activities would be more exciting, delighting than safe activities. But girls who are quiet keen on safe sports believe that their favourite sports are more delighting and fun.
We know in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's society there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
activities.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
can train all types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in clubs. These clubs are more popular among the adolescents.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
pupils like the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of organizing variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
clubs at school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
every young person has his/her interest and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
boys quite fancy
Possible spelling mistake found.
terryfieng
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
like hang gliding, bungee jumping or mountain climbing. In their opinion these activities would be more exciting, delighting than safe activities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
girls who are
Did you mean "quite"? 'quiet' means 'silent', 'quite' mean 'very' or 'to a moderate extent'
quiet
keen on safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
believe that their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are more delighting and fun.
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IELTS essay How organise pupil's club

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
96 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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