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Should Students get limited access to the Internet?

Should Students get limited access to the Internet? nxjbK
Nowadays, it is humankind who even cannot imagine their day to day life without daily spending time on the social media. Consequently, it is found as tough task that what people anticipate in order to minimize postgraduate's leisure time on the Internet. Actually, there is some conflicts that the social media has to encounter that all students are not supposed to be allowed to use the Internet discussing on inadequate messages that received from strangers. Axiomatically, the primary reason that what individuals are struggling with for the time being is their safety. According to statistics said, less and more 49 percentage of the Internet users brake their telephone down on a daily basis or some negative gestures are observed in their behaviour because of several issues based on connecting to the Internet. Secondly, as a result of using Internet on gadgets, the beam of these modern technologies is really harmful to youngster's health. Besides, related to numerous professor's notes that not only do computers and phones affect the humans' physical well-being, but they also deteriorate the capability of their mental health, especially memory. Of course, skill to keep reminders in mind is what people ought to have in order to advance in their career path. By the way, all the following examples are so negative although the era that we are currently living and is found as the beginning of the new Renessance. On the other hand, not being able to use the Internet for the students can limit to publicize their full potential because there is no access to the social media to download the vitally important files, to take part in highly effective people's lectures that many guess as the key to the success and to learn living more meaningfully and also attending free online courses they need. Absolutely, it had better pay necessary money in small amounts for surving the Internet so that watching essential educational videos such as language courses rather than participating costly off-line lessons. In conclusion, instead of setting new rules to decrease the time of using the Internet, all of us should be more active on the social media which is surrounding our lives. Therefore, in my view, the Internet will take possession in a lot of occupations, shopping and marketing and other activities in the long run.
Nowadays, it is humankind who even cannot imagine their
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
life without daily spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
Consequently
, it
is found
as tough task that what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
anticipate in order to minimize postgraduate's leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on the Internet.

Actually, there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
conflicts that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
encounter that all students are not supposed to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the Internet discussing on inadequate messages that received from strangers.
Axiomatically
, the primary reason that what individuals are struggling with for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
being is their safety. According to statistics said, less and more 49 percentage of the Internet users brake their telephone down on a daily basis or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
gestures
are observed
in their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of several issues based on connecting to the Internet.
Secondly
,
as a result
of using Internet on gadgets, the beam of these modern technologies is
really
harmful to youngster's health.
Besides
, related to numerous professor's notes that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do computers and phones affect the humans' physical well-being,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
deteriorate the capability of their mental health,
especially
memory.
Of course
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
reminders in mind is what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
ought to have in order to advance in their career path. By the way, all the following examples are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
although the era that we are
currently
living and
is found
as the beginning of the new
Possible spelling mistake found.
Renessance
.

On the other hand
, not being able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the Internet for the students can limit to publicize their full potential
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is no access to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
to download the
vitally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
files, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
highly
effective
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's lectures that
Possible agreement error. The noun guess seems to be countable; consider using: "many guesses".
many guess
as the key to the success and to learn living more
meaningfully
and
also
attending free online courses they need.
Absolutely
, it had better pay necessary money in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amounts for
Possible spelling mistake found.
surving
the Internet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that watching essential educational videos such as language courses
rather
than participating costly off-line lessons.

In conclusion
,
instead
of setting new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
to decrease the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of using the Internet, all of us should be more active on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
which is surrounding our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Therefore
, in my view, the Internet will take possession in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
occupations, shopping and marketing and other activities in the long run.
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IELTS essay Should Students get limited access to the Internet?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
385 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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