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Should students be required to take a foreign language course?

Should students be required to take a foreign language course? pbB1w
Foreign language is one of many skills that successful people should have. Mark Zuckerberg is obviously an example of people who use his foreign language to negotiate with the Chinese government to not ban Facebook. However, before looking at the achievement on a large scale, which abilities are similar to the assistants that we can get from foreign language learning. Helping students to get more educational opportunities, more information, and more connections are the answer to these.
Foreign language is one of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that successful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should have. Mark Zuckerberg is
obviously
an example of
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people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
his foreign language to negotiate with the Chinese
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to not ban Facebook.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
looking at the achievement on a large scale, which abilities are similar to the assistants that we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
from foreign language learning. Helping students to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more educational opportunities, more information, and more connections are the answer to these.
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IELTS essay Should students be required to take a foreign language course?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
77 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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