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Should students be allowed to use cell phones in school.

Should students be allowed to use cell phones in school. L3YK1
In many schools around the world, of course, include Viet Nam allow students to bring their cellphone to school. There are many supportive opinions and not about this problem having been given but each opinion has its right. In my view, bringing cellphones to school does have advantages and disadvantages. First of all, the advantage of using cell phones in school is that it is more convenient and faster to contact withsomeone we need. For example, when we finish school, it is slower if we use the school's phone to call our parents to come and pick us up instead of using our cell phones. On the other hand sometimes we are in an emergency at school and we need to call somebody it will be more convenient to use our cell phones. Secondly, Nowadays, technology is very developed so if we use cellphones to connect to the smart board or tv in class to present or show team’s ideas about the lessons it won’t take many times as using bulky computers. Some students also use their phones to record the lectures and watch it again at home if they don’t understand. Allowing sts to bring cell phones to schoolI also has some limitations. For examples: When students do the exam, they can use their cell phones to search the answers if teachers ignore them. Or it will prevent students from paying attention to the lecture and I think all the problems above really need to be considered. In conclusion. In my opinion schools shouldn’t allow sts to bring cell phones to school
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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schools
around the world,
of course
, include
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Viet
Nam
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to bring their cellphone to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
supportive opinions and not about this problem having been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
each opinion has its right. In my view, bringing cellphones to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
does have advantages and disadvantages.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the advantage of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is that it is more convenient and faster to contact
Possible spelling mistake found.
withsomeone
we need.
For example
, when we finish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, it is slower if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the school's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
to call our parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
and pick us up
instead
of using our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
.
On the other hand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
we are in an emergency at
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
school and
we need to call somebody it will be more convenient to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
phones.

Secondly
, Nowadays, technology is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
developed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
cellphones to connect to the smart board or
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
to present or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
team’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
about the lessons it won’t take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times as using bulky computers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
to record the lectures and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
it again at home if they don’t understand.

Allowing
Possible spelling mistake found.
sts
to bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
to
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schoolI
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
limitations. For examples: When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do the exam, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
to search the answers if teachers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
them. Or it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from paying attention to the lecture and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
all the problems above
really
need to
be considered
.

In conclusion
. In my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
shouldn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
Possible spelling mistake found.
sts
to bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
to
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
school
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IELTS essay Should students be allowed to use cell phones in school.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
262 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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