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Should people who text-message while they drive be severely penalized?

Should people who text-message while they drive be severely penalized? pRbN9
It is irrefutable to say that in this tech-savvy period people are mostly on their smart phones or any other gadgets. While some do not support the notion of punishing driving individuals who text and drive i am a supporter of it. This essay will highlight some consequences resulted because of texting and driving simultaneously and derive to a conclusion supporting the some punishment. To begin with, trend of messaging while driving is causing serious accidents at places which is at times leading to death of people because of the reason driving needs concentrations on roads rather than on other thing. To exemplify this, according to Road Safety Department in USA the number of road rages has raised owing to the cell phones with enabled messaging facilities. The repercussion of it is having a strict law that would compel its citizen to use less messaging while driving should be encouraged. Moreover, raising awareness among the driver about the need of road safety needs to be implemented as the major causes of accidents in roads are reckless drivers. Mobile phones, being the major cause of accidents, penalizing drivers can minimize the accidents; however, there are other causes of accidents like drunk driving, underage drivers, not following the traffic rules which needs to be taken in consideration too. To recapitulate, penalizing is considered as effective way to discourage drivers from using text messages which will ultimately reduce road rages.
It is irrefutable to say that in this tech-savvy period
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
mostly
on their smart phones or any other gadgets. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
do not support the notion of punishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
individuals who text and drive
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
am a supporter of it. This essay will highlight
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
consequences resulted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of texting and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
simultaneously
and derive to a conclusion supporting the
Did you mean "same"?
some
punishment.

To
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begin
with, trend of messaging while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
is causing serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
at places which is at times leading to death of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the reason
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
concentrations on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
rather
than on other thing. To exemplify this, according to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Road
Safety Department
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
rages has raised owing to the cell phones with enabled messaging facilities. The repercussion of it is having a strict law that would compel its citizen to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
less messaging while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
should
be encouraged
.

Moreover
, raising awareness among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driver
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
safety
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needs
to
be implemented
as the major causes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
in
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roads
are reckless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
. Mobile phones, being the major cause of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
, penalizing
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drivers
can minimize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
;
however
, there are other causes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
like drunk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
, underage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
, not following the traffic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to
be taken
in consideration too.

To recapitulate, penalizing
is considered
as effective way to discourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
from using text messages which will
ultimately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
rages.
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IELTS essay Should people who text-message while they drive be severely penalized?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
237 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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