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Should curriculum be decided by learners?

Should curriculum be decided by learners? 7XDb
Education plays an integral part in the upliftment of the nation. Some proponents claim that the choice of subjects should be made by the apex authorities, while others deem differently by stating that learners must decide their curriculum with regards to their interests. I will juxtapose both the perspectives before reaching a reasonable conclusion. From the from ideology, subjects chosen by the higher authorities will provide ample of exclusive opportunities for learners as they will be qualified enough for getting any suitable work. As a result, more job vacancies by government will decline the figures of unemployment. Moreover, if numerous facilities for instance, educational institutions, study materials along with well qualified staff are being provided by the official authorities, then they will make it certain that appropriate utilization of resources takes place. Undoubtedly, crucial subjects such as commerce, medical and It will form a fundamental part of government’s curriculum owing to more professionals inclusive of upliftment of economy. From the latter ideology, educates must have freedom for making independent choices regarding their subjects. The preponderant reason for this includes the difference of interests. Certainly, students performance will be elevated if they consider studying with regards to their own preferences rather than the government’s choices. Also, this will not only provide valuable expertise, but also enhance job opportunities. Taking an illustration, learners having keen interest in coding will get inclined towards working efficiently in a reputed IT firm rather than working beyond their interest and proficiency. Even, inculcating the subjects prescribed by the apex authorities can inadvertently result in spoiling of learners future due to selecting inappropriate career path. In the epilogue, I would say that both the views are true to some extent and none can be refuted outrightly. In my opinion, educates must be allowed to decide their curriculum. However, assistance and career guidance by government can play an integral role for the growth of students.
Education plays an integral part in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
upliftment
of the nation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
proponents claim that the choice of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
should
be made
by the apex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authorities
, while others deem
differently
by stating that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learners
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
decide their curriculum
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
with regards to
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interests
. I will juxtapose both the perspectives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching a reasonable conclusion.

From the
Did you mean "form"?
from
ideology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
chosen by the higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authorities
will provide ample of exclusive opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learners
as they will
be qualified
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for getting any suitable work.
As a result
, more job vacancies by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
will decline the figures of unemployment.
Moreover
, if numerous facilities
for instance
, educational institutions, study materials along with well qualified staff are
being provided
by the official
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authorities
, then they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it certain that appropriate utilization of resources takes place.
Undoubtedly
, crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as commerce, medical and It will form a fundamental part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
curriculum owing to more professionals inclusive of
Possible spelling mistake found.
upliftment
of economy.

From the latter ideology, educates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have freedom for making independent choices regarding their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. The preponderant reason for this includes the difference of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interests
.
Certainly
, students performance will
be elevated
if they consider studying
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
with regards to
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
preferences
rather
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
choices.
Also
, this will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
provide valuable expertise,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
enhance job opportunities. Taking an illustration,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learners
having keen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
in coding will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
inclined towards working
efficiently
in a reputed IT firm
rather
than working beyond their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
and proficiency. Even, inculcating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
prescribed by the apex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authorities
can
inadvertently
result in spoiling of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learners
future due to selecting inappropriate career path.

In the epilogue, I would say that both the views are true to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent and none can
be refuted
outrightly
. In my opinion, educates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to decide their curriculum.
However
, assistance and career guidance by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can play an integral role for the growth of students.
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IELTS essay Should curriculum be decided by learners?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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