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Parents should encourage children spend less time on studying and more time on doing physical activities. To what extent do you agree?

Parents should encourage children spend less time on studying and more time on doing physical activities. eBW7
In recent decades, acquiring top degrees is being considered as the key way to success, and umpteen parents, no doubt, are increasingly compeling their children to hit the books in order to achieve this goal. However, some genitors are more optimistic when it comes to kids doing more sports instead of obtaining knowledge. I agree with the idea that children should have longer physical exertions. Primarily(To begin with), Good health is central to handling not only stress buy also having a more active life, and it is Physical activity which provides opportunities to childern to become strong, which allows students to concentrate on academics for a long time and benefits his growth. For instance, while a learner has an excellent academic performance in daily life, his grades would be affected if he suffered from having a fever in the examinations. Whereas A strong body is more likely to cope up with these types of situations. Thus, a strong body is the most basic factor that determines the success of every day and academic task Apart from the point mentioned above, paying more attention to sports bring a variety of advantages. On top of being healthier, such activities can improve juveniles’ interpersonal skills and social circle because most sports activities are teamwork. For example, a basketball team requires 5 people. Teammates tend to have a good relationship as they practice together and cooperate with others. It also helps each of them comprehend what is a team and what responsibility should take. Therefore, spending more time on physical campaigns can cultivate the understanding of teamwork, which is more and more significant in the present society. In addition, comprehensive development is increasingly welcomed in the modern world. In conclusion, I totally support the view that children should be encouraged to do more physical activities in order to achieve a stronger human body and grow comprehensively.
In recent decades, acquiring top degrees is
being considered
as the key way to success, and umpteen parents, no doubt, are
increasingly
compeling
their children to hit the books in order to achieve this goal.
However
,
some
genitors
are more optimistic when it
comes
to kids doing more sports
instead
of obtaining knowledge. I
agree
with the
idea
that children should have longer
physical
exertions.

Primarily
(To
begin
with),
Good
health is central to handling not
only
stress
buy
also
having a more active life, and it is
Physical
activity
which provides opportunities to
childern
to become strong, which
allows
students to concentrate on academics for a long time and benefits his growth.
For instance
, while a learner has an excellent academic performance in daily life, his grades would be
affected
if he suffered from having a fever in the examinations.
Whereas
A strong body is more likely to cope up with these types of situations.
Thus
, a strong body is the most basic factor that determines the success of every day and academic task

Apart from the point mentioned above, paying more attention to sports bring a variety of advantages. On top of being healthier, such
activities
can
improve
juveniles’ interpersonal
skills
and social circle
because
most sports
activities
are teamwork.
For example
, a basketball team requires 5
people
. Teammates tend to have a
good
relationship as they practice together and cooperate with others. It
also
helps
each of them comprehend what is a team and what responsibility should take.
Therefore
, spending more time on
physical
campaigns can cultivate the understanding of teamwork, which is more and more significant in the present society.
In addition
, comprehensive development is
increasingly
welcomed in the modern world.

In conclusion
, I
totally
support the view that children should
be encouraged
to do more
physical
activities
in order to achieve a stronger human body and grow
comprehensively
.
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IELTS essay Parents should encourage children spend less time on studying and more time on doing physical activities.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
312 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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