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Shopping is now one of the most popular pastimes in many countries. Do you approve or disapprove of this leisure activity?

Shopping is now one of the most popular pastimes in many countries. Do you approve or disapprove of this leisure activity? 7abJY
Hobbies aid to keep humans mentally healthy. For the generation of twenty-first-century buying a wide range of products have become a favourite pass-time activity in almost all parts of the world. There are a number of factors why this is happening. In this essay, I will explain the reasons and why the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages. There is a myriad of factors associated with the popularity of shopping among youngsters. The most telling one lies in the fact that a huge diversity available for each type of product. Not only do individuals have fun spending time on looking into a range of brands to buy a single thing as a great choice is provided by various retailers, but they also get the opportunity to purchase the best quality commodity. For example, if one wishes to purchase a watch, he has the choice to spend as much time he wish to get the best quality watch by visiting certain brand stores. Besides, Social status might also play a key role in making young people crazy to shop the latest versions of everything so as to maintain their standard in society. Such as, youngsters love to replace their phones after a few months of usage as they get to know about the launch of the updated version of their mobiles just to show-off in front of their fellows. Another fact to note is that spending most of the time on shopping by young individuals is due to the advancements in technology. It has become much easier to buy anything by sitting back at home through online shopping and can deliver anything at home, which has made people more curious to purchase as many things as they want. For instance, certain applications like amazon and Flipkart provide door to door service by choosing any kind of commodity without going outside. All these factors stand in good stead when it comes to the fact that youngsters are getting addicted to spending most of their time shopping. To summarize, spending time in the market to buy commodities has become famous among the youth of the society due to a wide range of choice of brands and mantaining status among community. Therefore, it provides a number of advantages which proves that its drawbacks are no match for its benefits.
Hobbies aid to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
humans mentally healthy. For the generation of twenty-
first
-century buying a wide range of products have become a
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
pass-time activity in almost all parts of the world. There are a number of factors why this is happening. In this essay, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the reasons and why the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages.

There is a myriad of factors associated with the popularity of shopping among youngsters. The most telling one lies in the fact that a huge diversity available for each type of product. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do individuals have fun
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on looking into a range of brands to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a single thing as a great choice
is provided
by various retailers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the best quality commodity.
For example
, if one wishes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
, he has the choice to spend as much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "wishes", "wished".
wish
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the best quality
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
by visiting certain brand stores.
Besides
, Social status might
also
play a key role in making young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
crazy to shop the latest versions of everything
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
maintain their standard in society. Such as, youngsters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to replace their phones after a few months of usage as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know about the launch of the updated version of their mobiles
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
-off in front of their fellows.

Another fact to note is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on shopping by young individuals is due to the advancements in technology. It has become much easier to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
anything by sitting back at home through online shopping and can deliver anything at home, which has made
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
more curious to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things as they want.
For instance
, certain applications like
Possible spelling mistake found.
amazon
and Flipkart provide door to door service by choosing any kind of commodity without going outside. All these factors stand in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
stead when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the fact that youngsters are getting addicted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
shopping.

To summarize
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in the market to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
commodities has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
among the youth of the society due to a wide range of choice of brands and
Possible spelling mistake found.
mantaining
status among community.
Therefore
, it provides a number of advantages which proves that its drawbacks are no match for its benefits.
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IELTS essay Shopping is now one of the most popular pastimes in many countries. Do you approve or disapprove of this leisure activity?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
386 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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