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an increasing number of people are now using the internet to meet new people and socialise.Some people think this has brought people closer together while others think people are becoming more isolated.Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

an increasing number of people are now using the internet to meet new people and socialise. Some people think this has brought people closer together while others think people are becoming more isolated. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion GYoe
It is believed by some that making acquaintance online will brought close relationship, while other people think that making friends online un-trustful. In my view relationship with internet friends does not last long because they often come and go easily People can make friends on internet from different states, countries and learn about their culture and lifestyle. Making new friends from other countries is always beneficial which brings close relationship between countries. For instance, students are able to meet new friends who have to same interest or hobby through the internet and some pupils who are studying international language make new friends for improving their language skills or learn about their lifestyle. On the other hand, internet friends are not always honest and no one knows their purpose. Therefore, parents should concern more about their children and teach them about the danger of making new friend on internet. Their children might get cheated with someone else on internet and they will not tell what happen to them when they encounter danger. According to news, a 47 year old man defrauded a 13 year old girl online and asked to meet face to face. Luckily, the girl’s mother found out beforehand or else here daughter might be in danger. Therefore, friends on internet are different from real life friends. To sum up, making friends online modern and easiest way to connect people with each other but as I mentioned before parents should concern more about their children, while they are meeting friend online.
It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that making acquaintance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "bring"
brought
close relationship, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
Possible spelling mistake found.
un-trustful
. In my view relationship with internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
does not last long
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
and go
easily


This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
on internet from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
states, countries and learn about their culture and lifestyle. Making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries is always beneficial which brings close relationship between countries.
For instance
, students are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
same interest or hobby through the internet and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pupils who are studying international language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
for improving their language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
or learn about their lifestyle.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are not always honest and no one knows their purpose.
Therefore
, parents should concern more about their children and teach them about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
on internet. Their children might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
cheated with someone else on
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
internet and
they will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
what happen to them when they encounter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
. According to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, a 47 year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
defrauded a 13 year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
girl
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
and asked to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
face to face. Luckily, the girl’s mother found out beforehand or else here daughter might be in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
on internet are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from real life friends.

To sum up, making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
modern and easiest way to connect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
as I mentioned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
parents should concern more about their children, while they are meeting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
.
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IELTS essay an increasing number of people are now using the internet to meet new people and socialise. Some people think this has brought people closer together while others think people are becoming more isolated. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
252 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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