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Shopping as positive trend and new hobby. Discuss.

Shopping as positive trend and new hobby. Discuss. pRKED
Trending means something that follows current generation's interest. Everyone like to do shopping elsewhere. Today, many of us assume that shopping becomes part of hobbies. Those days, people might go for shopping during the festive season, but nowadays we can see anyone can go for shopping at anytime if you have money. There are many shopping malls been have built to fulfil people's needs. It can be a positive trend if you are financially stable, if not you are in trouble. Shopping is a favourite activity for most of the females compared to males. For examples, shopping is not only about buying clothes, but it can be referred to the interest of some people on gadgets, accessories and beauty products. Many discounts and cheap sales during festive seasons attract everyone to ambush the shopping malls. Branded materials with affordable price allows many of us to do shopping. It is a great deal for everyone to purchase their favourite goods during promotion periods. So, we can say that shopping is a positive trend if you are doing that frequently. Remember that shopping needs money, so save your money and start your shopping now. Good to hear that shopping became part of a hobby for many people. It is important to prevent some of the younger generation from involve in negative activities.
Trending means something that follows
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
generation's interest. Everyone like to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
elsewhere.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of us assume that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
becomes part of hobbies. Those days,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might go for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
during the festive season,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
nowadays we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
anyone can go for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
at anytime if you have money. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
malls been
Consider using a past participle here: "had".
have
built to fulfil
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's needs. It can be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend if you are
financially
stable, if not you are in trouble.

Shopping is a
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
activity for most of the females compared to males. For examples,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about buying clothes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it can
be referred
to the interest of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
on gadgets, accessories and beauty products.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
discounts and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
sales during festive seasons attract everyone to ambush the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
malls. Branded materials with affordable price
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of us to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. It is a great deal for everyone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
during promotion periods.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, we can say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend if you are doing that
frequently
. Remember that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
needs money,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
save your money and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Good
to hear that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
became part of a hobby for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
younger generation from involve in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
activities.
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IELTS essay Shopping as positive trend and new hobby. Discuss.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
220 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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