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Sharing information should be free or restricted

Sharing information should be free or restricted jRjAN
Sharing information has become quite common in the academic and business worlds. While some people argue that it is necessary for scientific progress, others think it should be shared under certain circumstances, and to some extent I agree with the first opinion. Many people think that sharing knowledge should be at the highest level. First, it can save a lot of time for researchers. Carrying out scientific research can be time-consuming, and it needs lots of effort. If the information is widely available, it will not require everyone to conduct it separately, and they can benefit from others' results. Consequently, they save time, and it is an opportunity for scientific advancements. Secondly, sharing information freely can save help financially for people who don't have enough money to do projects. For instance, performing medical experiments needs lots of money or even financial aid from the government. If the information were published freely, many physicians from poor countries can access the results, and it can be life-saving. On the contrary, many believe sharing information should be restricted. First, some scientists maybe lose their motivation because they cannot make money from their work. They spend lots of time to achieve a crucial breakthrough. If they are not satisfied with their result, it would discourage them. Secondly, some information is extremely secure. For instance, details about nuclear energy should not be accessible for terrorism. It can be extremely dangerous for humanity if they can acquire the knowledge. Another example is companies. They need to keep their business information secret in order to keep themselves ahead of others and prevent losing money. In conclusion, many people including me, believe information should be available for the public. However, others argue sharing information should be limited.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
has become quite common in the academic and business worlds. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that it is necessary for scientific progress, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it should
be shared
under certain circumstances, and to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
first
opinion.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
knowledge should be at the highest level.
First
, it can save a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of time for researchers. Carrying out scientific research can be time-consuming, and it needs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of effort. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is
widely
available, it will not require everyone to conduct it
separately
, and they can benefit from others' results.
Consequently
, they save time, and it is an opportunity for scientific advancements.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
freely
can save
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
financially
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who don't have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to do projects.
For instance
, performing medical experiments needs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
or even financial aid from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
were published
freely
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
physicians from poor countries can access the results, and it can be life-saving.
On the contrary
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
should
be restricted
.
First
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
scientists maybe lose their motivation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from their work. They spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of time to achieve a crucial breakthrough. If they are not satisfied with their result, it would discourage them.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is
extremely
secure.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
about nuclear energy should not be accessible for terrorism. It can be
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for humanity if they can acquire the knowledge. Another example is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. They need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
secret in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
themselves ahead of others and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
losing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
including me, believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
should be available for the public.
However
, others argue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
should
be limited
.
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IELTS essay Sharing information should be free or restricted

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
289 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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