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Share your personal experience or a story that you found the most interesting about volunteer work during the pandemic.

Share your personal experience or a story that you found the most interesting about volunteer work during the pandemic. DY9rm
So now, I’m gonna share my story about the man that was very interesting. Perhaps I found it on the Internet when I was surfing Facebook. You know, here we’re living in the red-location where a large number of people are affected by the Covid-19. Also, to prevent the epidemic, the mission is gonna run, the government created the 5K-law and the social distance to reduce the cases’ infection. Similarly, the organizations of health do the same thing, they have to pick the victims up to the isolation area. On another day like normal in this quarantine time, the health department recognized that the number of doctors and nurses is lacking. So they decided to rely on volunteers wherever they can, to pick-up the person who has a positive result with the virus. One day the team which had the man I wanna mention ( sorry I forgot his name ) is on the way to support whoever wants to help. When he came to the small town in Cu Chi suburban district, he found out that the destitute family had two people positive with Corona. Unfortunately, the person in the critical situation is a baby. At this moment, I can’t believe what I just read, she is just a little but after that I was more surprised that the volunteer now carries the baby to the hospital as fast as possible. Like I just said, the baby is in a really bad situation, she can’t breathe but the volunteer does instant artificial respiration for her. Nevertheless, the biggest problem is his team came here by foot, no car, no transportation, so he had to hold the baby in his arms and run with the best speed, step by step to the hospital. Luckily, thanks to his effort, she was saved and now is recovering in the hospital. Oh man you know the moment I knew she was still alive, I seriously prayed for her. This is an incredible story, I really admire him, the man who saved a baby's life with his memorable run. What a story! Although the distance from baby’ house to the hospital is so long, he still never gives up and does his best. Totally, that is what I wanna tell you all. Hopefully, we’re still strong till the end of the pandemic, this fucking virus.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, I’m
The word 'gonna' is informal. Consider an alternative.
gonna
share my story about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
man
that was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
interesting. Perhaps I found it on the Internet when I was surfing Facebook. You know, here we’re living in the red-location where
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the Covid-19.
Also
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the epidemic, the mission is
The word 'gonna' is informal. Consider an alternative.
gonna
run, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
created the 5K-law and the social distance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the cases’ infection.
Similarly
, the organizations of health do the same thing, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pick the victims up to the isolation area. On another day like normal in this quarantine time, the health department recognized that the number of doctors and nurses is lacking.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they decided to rely on volunteers wherever they can, to pick-up the person who has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
result with the virus. One day the team which had the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
man
I
The word 'wanna' is informal. Consider an alternative.
wanna
mention
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
sorry I forgot his name
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
is on the way to support whoever wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
. When he came to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
town in Cu Chi suburban district, he found out that the destitute family had two
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
with Corona. Unfortunately, the person in the critical situation is a baby. At this moment, I can’t believe what I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
read, she is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after that I was more surprised that the volunteer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
carries the baby to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
as possible. Like I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
said, the baby is in a
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
situation, she can’t breathe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the volunteer does instant artificial respiration for her.
Nevertheless
, the biggest problem is his team came here by foot, no car, no transportation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he had to hold the baby in his arms and run with the best speed, step by step to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
. Luckily, thanks to his effort, she
was saved
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
is recovering in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
.
Interjections are usually punctuated.
Oh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
man
you know the moment I knew she was
still
alive, I
seriously
prayed for her. This is an incredible story, I
really
admire him, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
man
who saved a baby's life with his memorable run. What a story! Although the distance from baby’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
long, he
still
never gives up and does his best.
Totally
,
that is
what I
The word 'wanna' is informal. Consider an alternative.
wanna
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you all.
Hopefully
, we’re
still
strong till the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the pandemic, this
This word is considered offensive.
fucking
virus.
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IELTS essay Share your personal experience or a story that you found the most interesting about volunteer work during the pandemic.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
391 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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