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discursive essay on crime and punishment

discursive essay on crime and punishment 6m8Mr
Some countries are struggling with increases in crime rates. Some believe that having more police on the streets is best way to reduce and combat crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Most of the countries are facing the high degree of crime and it makes people to feel unsafe in their homes. In this essay, i agree with this statement. Having more police on the streets is an effective way. However, I believe that there could be a better solution. Usually most of the crimes are happening because of the money. Money has big importance nowadays and people can do everything to own it. And I believe that this is happening because of the education system and the government. For example, Japan is the 13th country with the best economy and the 3rd country with the lowest crime rate, or let’s take a look at the Denmark. Denmark is the 3rd country with the best education system and ranked first among the most safe and reliable countries in the world. To summarize, having more police on the streets may help to protect people and make them feel safe. But improving the education system and economy would be a better solution in my opinion
Some
countries
are struggling with increases in
crime
rates.
Some
believe that having more police on the streets
is best
way to
reduce
and combat
crime
. To what extent do you
agree
or disagree?

Most of the
countries
are facing the high degree of
crime
and it
makes
people
to feel unsafe in their homes. In this essay,
i
agree
with this statement. Having more police on the streets is an effective way.
However
, I believe that there could be a better solution.

Usually
most of the
crimes
are happening
because
of the money. Money has
big
importance nowadays and
people
can do everything to
own
it. And I believe that this is happening
because
of the education system and the
government
.

For example
, Japan is the 13th
country
with the best economy and the 3rd
country
with the lowest
crime
rate, or
let
’s take a look at the Denmark. Denmark is the 3rd
country
with the best education system and ranked
first
among
the most safe
and reliable
countries
in the world.

To summarize
, having more police on the streets may
help
to protect
people
and
make
them feel safe.
But
improving the education system and economy would be a better solution in my
opinion
What do you think?
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IELTS essay discursive essay on crime and punishment

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
205 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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