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Several people believe consumerism is good for nation, meanwhile other people thought it negative

Several people believe consumerism is good for nation, meanwhile other people thought it negative Y5Xm
Nowadays, there is a concept that change people behavior from save money and spend it with wisely to squander their money. We called it consumerism. Several people have notion it is great for nation, despite some people thought it has disadvantage. This essay will discuss the entire of those perspective. Firstly, consumerism gains the economic growth of people. From this concept, there are many brands came each year and the company opened the job opportunities for people. Beside that, from the new company that born from this perspective, government can force the company to pay the tax. It will increase national income. For instance, In Indonesia, there are many start-up companies with core business in selling consumer goods have come. Right now, the companies gave job opportunities for millennials and pay the tax as their compulsory as part of companies in Indonesia. Secondly, the idea of consumerism can be motivation for several people to have better live. It causes many young age in the world have enormous dream being successful man in the future. And one of their mission is buy the stuff that they can not buy right now. The example of that, we can see people who was using the branded fashion in front of us and it can be inspiration for us to buy that stuffs someday. In contrast, this notion has many advantages, but in other hand, there are some negative side. With this concept, we tend do not wise to choose what are the necessity that we exactly needed. The example, when we have heard some people use new brand of some clothes, or watches. Our mind will produce adrenaline hormone to us to buy the stuff to competes them, despite we are necessary to buy other things that usable for us. So, we can not make perfect decision to select one of those. In my opinion, it is good being consumerism sometime, but it is not wise if we give more attention in consumerism notion. Sometimes, in cooperation field in office, it is nice to adapt with the fashion style or hobbies that our friends have in office. It is good as long as do not leverage our crucial things that we need to grab. The conclusion of this essay is consumerism has positive impact for country and people, but it has negative impact too for us. We have to sage for our live when buy something or following the trend.
Nowadays, there is a concept that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
behavior from save money and spend it with
wisely
to squander their money. We called it consumerism. Several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have notion it is great for nation, despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
it has disadvantage. This essay will discuss the entire of
Did you mean "this perspective" or "those perspectives"?
those perspective
.

Firstly
, consumerism gains the economic growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. From this concept, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
brands came each year and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
opened the job opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Beside that, from the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
that born from this perspective,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can force the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
to pay the tax. It will increase national income.
For instance
, In Indonesia, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
-up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
with core business in selling consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
. Right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
gave job opportunities for millennials and pay the tax as their compulsory as part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
in Indonesia.

Secondly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of consumerism can be motivation for several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. It causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young age in the world have enormous dream being successful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
in the future. And one of their mission is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
the stuff that they can not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. The example of that, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who was using the branded fashion in front of us and it can be inspiration for us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
that stuffs someday.

In contrast
, this notion has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in other hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side. With this concept, we tend do not wise to choose what are the necessity that we exactly needed. The example, when we have heard
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
new brand of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
clothes, or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watches
. Our mind will produce adrenaline hormone to us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
the stuff to competes them, despite we are necessary to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
other things that usable for us.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, we can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
perfect decision to select one of those.

In my opinion, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
being consumerism sometime,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not wise if we give more attention in consumerism notion.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, in cooperation field in office, it is nice to adapt with the fashion style or hobbies that our friends have in office. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
as long as do not leverage our crucial things that we need to grab.

The conclusion of this essay is consumerism has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact for country and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact too for us. We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
sage for our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
something or following the trend.
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IELTS essay Several people believe consumerism is good for nation, meanwhile other people thought it negative

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
407 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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