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Self awareness in animals

Self awareness in animals m1D1A
Both the passage and the lecture discuss a specific type of experiment, which is designed to check for the self-awareness among chimpanzees. The passage argues that the reactions of chimpanzees in front of a mirror is a reliable proof that animals can be aware of themselves. In a study, the chimpanzees who had been marked on the face and/or ear, during a period of deep anesthesia, could recognize themselves in the mirror and started to touch the markets on their own body instead of the mirror image. Hence, they differentiate between their own image and another chimpanzee. However, the lecturer criticizes the results and her arguments undermine the passage premises. First of all, the professor states that the chimpanzee experiment is not reliable, and the results will not be repeated in multiple studies. For example, in another similar experiment, only one test animal out of a group started to touch the marked area of his face in front of the mirror. Therefore, the passage claim about monkeys, who repeatedly touched their eyebrows or ears because they had recognized themselves, is not endorsed. In fact, the mentioned results could be a random and insignificant finding. Moreover, the professor indicates that touching ones’ face is a normal habit of chimpanzees. She highlightes the result of another experiment to oppose the conclusion of the passage. In that experiment, the test animals rubbed off the marks by frequent touching, even before being fully recovered from the anesthesia. Such experience showed that the test animals touch their face frequently with or without the presence of a mirror, which is in contrast to the passage claim, that says by being introduced to a mirror chimpanzees consciously begin to touch themselves more often. Finally, the lecturer expresses her further doubt about the passage claims by explaining that the chimpanzees’ social behaviors normally consist of self-grooming and self-touching. Thus, their response to their mirror image could be merely their routine social behaviors, which is part of their effort to be fit in their clan. This opposes the passage that says self-recognition is the underlying reason for chimpanzees' behaviors in front of a mirror.
Both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passage
and the lecture discuss a specific type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiment
, which
is designed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
for the self-awareness among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chimpanzees
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passage
argues that the reactions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chimpanzees
in front of a mirror is a reliable proof that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
can be aware of themselves. In a study, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chimpanzees
who had
been marked
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
and/or ear, during a period of deep anesthesia, could recognize themselves in the mirror and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
touch
the markets on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
body
instead
of the mirror image.
Hence
, they differentiate between their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
image and another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chimpanzee
.
However
, the lecturer criticizes the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
and her arguments undermine the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passage
premises.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the professor states that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chimpanzee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiment
is not reliable, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
will not
be repeated
in multiple studies.
For example
, in another similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiment
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
out of a group
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
touch
the marked area of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
in front of the mirror.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passage
claim about monkeys, who
repeatedly
touched their eyebrows or ears
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they had recognized themselves, is not endorsed. In fact, the mentioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
could be a random and insignificant finding.

Moreover
, the professor indicates that touching ones’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
is a normal habit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chimpanzees
. She
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "highlights", the plural form of the noun 'highlight'?
highlightes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
of another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiment
to oppose the conclusion of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passage
. In that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiment
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
rubbed off the marks by frequent touching, even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
being
fully
recovered from the anesthesia. Such experience
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
touch
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
frequently
with or without the presence of a mirror, which is
in contrast
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passage
claim, that says by
being introduced
to a mirror
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chimpanzees
consciously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
touch
themselves more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
.

Finally
, the lecturer expresses her
further
doubt about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passage
claims by explaining that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chimpanzees’
social behaviors
normally
consist of self-grooming and self-touching.
Thus
, their response to their mirror image could be
merely
their routine social behaviors, which is part of their effort to
be fit
in their clan. This opposes the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passage
that says self-recognition is the underlying reason for chimpanzees' behaviors in front of a mirror.
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IELTS essay Self awareness in animals

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
355 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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