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Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valuable by modern society than musicians and artists

Even though nowadays peoples believe that scientists and technologist are more important, we shouldn’t neglected the contribution of musician and artist in human life Although scientists and technologist have rising demands in our society for development physical structure, I argue that musicians and artists are closely related to human life In this society the contribution of scientist and technologist proficient is extremely huge, Ranging from research, innovation to human health. The development of the world utterly depends upon the new concept of scientist. Every second of time the world face had been changed because of latest technology. Since the experts work all the days, they would able to change the scenario of society. Moreover the scientist and technologist are most powerful weapons to redesign the world. However, still there are number of reasons that are beyond the limits of science and technology. Actually the peace of mind and relaxation of body cannot meet by scientist and technologist at any cost. Though the scientist and technologist changes the human lifestyle in earth, they never made change their feelings and happiness of life which can easily meet by musicians and artists. Science and technology has n such tendency to meet culture of arts and music. Nonetheless the technologist experts made the physical changes, the performance of artist and scientist reached to next level. The performance of such artists and scientists reached to human heart, be it children or adults In conclusion, despite the scientists and technologist are highly demandable in twenty first century, they would never meet the level of artist and musicians.
Even though
nowadays peoples believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
and technologist are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, we shouldn’t
The modal verb ‘should’ requires the verb’s base form.
neglected
the contribution of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musician
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
life

Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
and technologist have rising demands in our society for development physical structure, I argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musicians
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
are
closely
related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
life

In this society the contribution of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientist
and technologist proficient is
extremely
huge, Ranging from research, innovation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
health. The development of the world
utterly
depends upon the new concept of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientist
. Every second of time the world face had been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
A determiner is probably missing here: “the latest”.
latest
technology. Since the experts work all the days, they
Did you mean “would be able”?
would able
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
the scenario of society.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientist
and technologist are
Did you mean “the most”?
most
powerful weapons to redesign the world.

However
,
still
there are
It seems that an article is missing. Did you mean “a number of”?
number of
reasons that are beyond the limits of science and technology. Actually the peace of mind and relaxation of body cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientist
and technologist at any cost. Though the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientist
and technologist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
lifestyle in earth, they never made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
their feelings and happiness of life which can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musicians
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
. Science and technology has n such tendency to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
culture of arts and music.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Nonetheless
the technologist experts made the physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
, the performance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientist
reached to
next
level. The performance of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
reached to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
heart, be it children or
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
adults


In conclusion
, despite the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
and technologist are
highly
demandable in twenty
first
century, they would never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musicians
.
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IELTS essay Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valuable by modern society than musicians and artists

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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