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Scientists agree that people are damaging their health by eating to much junk food. Some think that the answer to this problem is to educate people. Others think education will not work.

Scientists agree that people are damaging their health by eating to much junk food. Some think that the answer to this problem is to educate people. Others think education will not work. LeLG
Dieticians and doctors assume that eating much fast food is harmful for human kind’s body. Some people reckon that providing appropriate information is the main solution to this difficulty, whereas others deem that it would not work. Many arguments have been made for and against lacking knowledge is a key component of eating fast food regularly”. In this essay, I will discuss both views and state my own position. In present time, in having inappropriate information about pre-prepared food due to the fast-food company's sophisticated marketing policy and advertisement, the majority part of people tend to eating junk food regularly. In other words, they can not see the negative sides of using improper food until they are informed fully about its harmful effects. For example, in Mongolia, many parents head to go fast food restaurants with children so as to spend their family leisure time; most of them are manipulated by fast food advertisements and have not information about the side-effect of junk food. Therefore, providing correct and appropriate information is one of the effective approaches for avoiding eating too much improper food. While some purchase junk food constantly due to lacking knowledge about its negative sides, others have been eating it constantly so as to save their time and money even though they know well that it is extremely toxic and genetically modified. For instance, many fast-food chains have located any corner of the buildings all around the world; thus, people can purchase budget food without going far, which offers not only cheap price but also time-saving. That is why some mankind still use improper food constantly as they have adequate information about its harmful effect for the body. To recapitulate, some people assume that educating is one of the best ways for decreasing the usage of junk food, whilst some deem that proving adequate information about its negative side would not work. I believe that advertising negative side of fast food is not enough for tackling this obstacle, people should be encouraged to choose the different eating choices, such as buying healthy food and preparing home cook, so that this problem can be completely solved.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dieticians
and doctors assume that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is harmful for human kind’s body.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
reckon that providing appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is the main solution to this difficulty, whereas others deem that it would not work.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
arguments have
been made
for and against lacking knowledge is a key component of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
regularly
”. In this essay, I will discuss both views and state my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
position.

In present time, in having inappropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-prepared
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
due to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's sophisticated marketing policy and advertisement, the majority part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
regularly
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
other words, they can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sides
of using improper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
until they
are informed
fully
about its harmful effects.
For example
, in Mongolia,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parents head to go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
restaurants with children
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
spend their family leisure time; most of them
are manipulated
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
advertisements and have not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about the
Did you mean "side effect" (=adverse effect, unintended consequence)? Open compounds are not hyphenated.
side-effect
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Therefore
, providing correct and appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is one of the effective approaches for avoiding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
too much improper food.

While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "purchases"?
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
constantly
due to lacking knowledge about its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sides
, others have been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
it
constantly
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
save their time and money
even though
they know well that it is
extremely
toxic and
genetically
modified.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food chains have located any corner of the buildings all around the world;
thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
budget
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
without going far, which offers not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
price
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
time-saving.
That is
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mankind
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
improper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
constantly
as they have adequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about its harmful effect for the body.

To recapitulate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
assume that educating is one of the best ways for decreasing the usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, whilst
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
deem that proving adequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
side would not work. I believe that advertising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
side of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for tackling this obstacle,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be encouraged
to choose the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
choices, such as buying healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and preparing home cook,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that this problem can be completely solved.
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IELTS essay Scientists agree that people are damaging their health by eating to much junk food. Some think that the answer to this problem is to educate people. Others think education will not work.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
357 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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