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Schools should concentrate on teaching students the academic subjects that will be useful for their future career. Subjects such as music and sports are not useful. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Schools should concentrate on teaching students the academic subjects that will be useful for their future career. Subjects such as music and sports are not useful. KKP1
It is sometimes argued that schools should remove non-academic subjects such as music and sports from the syllabus so that students will focus on academic fields which are helpful for their profession. While it is true that academic subjects are important, I do not believe that extremely concentrating on teaching academic subjects is a good idea. Firstly, from the health point of view, non-academic activities are helpful not only for their physical health but also for mental health. For instance, after studying and sitting in academic classes for the whole morning, it is better for students to do some outdoor or art activities such as dancing, playing basketball to get rid of stress. As a result, their learning ability and concentration in the afternoon will be improved. Focusing only on the academic area is not only harmful to student’s health but also make their capability decrease. Secondly, not all of the students need to be excellent in academic subjects to achieve success in their future career. For example, there is no point in getting A grades unnecessarily in science-related subjects if a person wants to become an excellent singer or a footballer. By encouraging students to engage in extra-curricular activities, the school can bring out their hidden talents in other fields. This will help not only the students but also the society since that creates the diversity of occupation. In conclusion, I do not accept the argument that focusing on only academic subjects is more helpful than non-academic fields for students in developing their future careers.
It is
sometimes
argued that schools should remove non-academic
subjects
such as music and sports from the syllabus
so
that
students
will focus on
academic
fields which are helpful for their profession. While it is true that
academic
subjects
are
important
, I do not believe that
extremely
concentrating on teaching
academic
subjects
is a
good
idea
.

Firstly
, from the
health
point of view, non-academic activities are helpful not
only
for their physical
health
but
also
for mental
health
.
For instance
, after studying and sitting in
academic
classes for the whole morning, it is better for
students


to
do
some
outdoor or art activities such as dancing, playing basketball to
get
rid of
stress
.
As a result
, their learning ability and concentration in the afternoon will be
improved
. Focusing
only
on the
academic
area is not
only
harmful to
student’s
health
but
also
make
their capability decrease.

Secondly
, not
all of the
students
need to be excellent in
academic
subjects
to achieve success in their future career.
For example
, there is no point in getting
A grades
unnecessarily
in science-related
subjects
if a person wants to become an excellent singer or a footballer. By encouraging
students
to engage in extra-curricular activities, the school can bring out their hidden talents in other fields. This will
help
not
only
the
students
but
also
the society since that creates the diversity of occupation.

In conclusion
, I do not accept the argument that focusing on
only
academic
subjects
is more helpful than non-academic fields for students

in
developing their future careers.
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IELTS essay Schools should concentrate on teaching students the academic subjects that will be useful for their future career. Subjects such as music and sports are not useful.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
256 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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