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School should concentrate on teaching students the academic subjects that will be useful for their future careers. Subjects such as music and sports are not useful.

School should concentrate on teaching students the academic subjects that will be useful for their future careers. Subjects such as music and sports are not useful. gQrD
Some believe that schools do not have to focus on non-scholar disciplines since they are useless for work. While academic subjects are, of course, important, I agree with those who believe musical and physical education appear as essential. There is nothing wrong for schools to concentrate on academic subjects in an era of fierce competition. To keep their position in the match, employers prefer to select better talents than ever before. But for school leavers, the only certificate to rely on is their academic grades. They may appear less competitive without good grades. If so, they might lose the chance and finally not getting hired by their ideal companies. By contrast, subjects as music and sports could play a distinctive role in school leaver’s future career. On the one hand, what they learned from these subjects may offer more chances in their future work. It may be easier for an interviewee with excellent sports skills or musical talent to show uniqueness among various competitors. Also, shared hobbies with unfamiliar clients can crack the hard nut of communication. On the other hand, doing music and sports means hundreds of hours of exercise, which can help students develop valuable quantities. Such characteristics enable employees to do better when they are requisite for long working hours and hard paperwork. I believe that the main point is to make sure that young people are ready for their future life. Schools must cultivate teenagers’ abilities from both academic subjects and others.
Some
believe that
schools
do not
have to
focus on non-scholar disciplines since they are useless for work. While
academic
subjects
are,
of course
,
important
, I
agree
with those who believe musical and physical education appear as essential.

There is nothing
wrong
for
schools
to concentrate on
academic
subjects
in an era of fierce competition. To
keep
their position in the match, employers prefer to select better talents than ever
before
.
But
for
school leavers
, the
only
certificate to rely on is their
academic
grades. They may appear less competitive without
good
grades. If
so
, they might lose the chance and
finally
not getting hired by their ideal
companies
.

By contrast,
subjects
as music and sports could play a distinctive role in
school leaver
’s future career. On the one hand, what they learned from these
subjects
may offer more chances in their future work. It may be easier for an interviewee with excellent sports
skills
or musical talent to
show
uniqueness among various competitors.
Also
, shared hobbies with unfamiliar clients can crack the
hard
nut of communication.
On the other hand
, doing music and sports means hundreds of hours of exercise, which can
help
students develop valuable quantities. Such characteristics enable employees to do better when they are requisite for long working hours and
hard
paperwork.

I believe that the main point is to
make
sure that young
people
are ready for their future life.
Schools
must
cultivate
teenagers
’ abilities from both
academic
subjects
and others
.
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IELTS essay School should concentrate on teaching students the academic subjects that will be useful for their future careers. Subjects such as music and sports are not useful.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
246 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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