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Role model ih atheletic game.

Role model ih atheletic game. AgYVx
Having, a role model in proffesional atheletic game is a very good for young people, some people think that it is not good to attract from proffesional atheletes. I beleive that it is good if you follow any of your favourite role model in athelets game, because you are taking him or her as your inspiration in your life, and you are crazy about them, you wanna be like him you are talking to everyone he has great skills in sports. Only a sports man know that when he his attract from someone in atheletic games what was the main reason behind that. The real reason is that when you chose someone as your role model you are very desperate to become like him. Now i am talking about the people who does not want to take role models as thier inspiration. There are a lot of reasons, if you dress like your role model it is very expensive for you because you and your parents can not afford that dress. And people often think that do the job or business live with your family good rather than take someone as your inspiration or wanna be like him dress like him eat like him. Some people think that everyone is equal in the world if they are proffesionals athelete so we are also the kings of our fields. In conclusion, Following the path of your role model take lessons from him you will be like him after a decade. do not waste your time for stupid role models have fun enjoy your life as its going.
Having, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
model
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
proffesional
Possible spelling mistake found.
atheletic
game is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
for young
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people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
to attract from
Possible spelling mistake found.
proffesional
Possible spelling mistake found.
atheletes
.

I
Possible spelling mistake found.
beleive
that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
if you follow any of your
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
model
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
athelets
game,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you are taking him or her as your inspiration in your life, and you are crazy about them, you
The word 'wanna' is informal. Consider an alternative.
wanna
be like him you are talking to everyone he has great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in sports.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
a sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
know that when
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'he'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
he his
attract from someone in
Possible spelling mistake found.
atheletic
games what was the main reason behind that. The real reason is that when you chose someone as your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
model
you are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
desperate to become like him.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
am talking about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
Did you mean "do"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
does
not want to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
models
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
inspiration. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
reasons, if you dress like your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
model
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive for you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you and your parents can not afford that dress. And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that do the job or business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with your family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
rather
than take someone as your inspiration or
The word 'wanna' is informal. Consider an alternative.
wanna
be like him dress like him eat like him.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that everyone is equal in the world if they are
Possible spelling mistake found.
proffesionals
athelete
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we are
also
the kings of our fields.

In conclusion
, Following the path of your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
model
take lessons from him you will be like him after a decade.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
do
not waste your time for stupid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
models
have fun enjoy your life as
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
going.
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IELTS essay Role model ih atheletic game.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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