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Rising university fees and limited employment prospects for graduates have led some people to say that universities should not teach arts subjects, like philosophy and history, and should only offer practical degree courses that maximise chances of employment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Rising university fees and limited employment prospects for graduates have led some people to say that universities should not teach arts subjects, like philosophy and history, and should only offer practical degree courses that maximise chances of employment. 6E3r
There is an opinion asserting that due to the increasing university's tutations and limited job opportunities for graduated students, some artistic subjects, such as history and philosophy should not been taught in universities; instead, more practical majors should be offered to increase the employment opportunity. I am totally against this statement as I firmly believe that not paying proper attention to arts may lead to irreversible damages to human heritage and culture. First and foremost, concidered as one of the intangible human heritages, arts have a direct assosiation with culture and history. This demonstares the importance of dedication and determination to preserve these uniqe cultural treasure, and not only university courses in arts are realy powerful mediators for the aforementioned purpose, but the best ways as well. In addition, without sufficient education and research in the arts subjects these parts of human knowledge would remain impotent and pron to be extinct. So, regardless the lack of sufficient job vacancy, these subjects merit attention. However, limeted prospect of employment for graduates in art degrees is a reall cause of concern. Although it is a widespread problem amongst almost all students from different educational background, for art graduates this is a more serious one. Fortunately, this issue can be solved by official authorities throughout taking comprehencive strategies, such as funding and empowering related communities and organizations. in fact, if there were efficient policies, less unemployment rates would shown up in the future. In conclusion, I totally agree that universities should teach arts subjects, and there is no justifiable reason not to do so, since reducing consideration to these majors can cause harmfull effects in human culture. Moreover, by adopting certain policies job prospects can improve.
There is an opinion asserting that due to the increasing university's
Possible spelling mistake found.
tutations
and limited job opportunities for graduated students,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
artistic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, such as history and philosophy should not
been taught
in universities;
instead
, more practical majors should
be offered
to increase the employment opportunity. I am
totally
against this statement as I
firmly
believe that not paying proper attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
may lead to irreversible damages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
heritage and culture.

First
and foremost,
Possible spelling mistake found.
concidered
as one of the intangible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
heritages,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
have a direct
Possible spelling mistake found.
assosiation
with culture and history. This
Possible spelling mistake found.
demonstares
the importance of dedication and determination to preserve these
Possible spelling mistake found.
uniqe
cultural treasure, and not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
university courses in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
realy
powerful mediators for the aforementioned purpose,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the best ways
as well
.
In addition
, without sufficient education and research in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
these parts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
knowledge would remain impotent and pron to be extinct.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, regardless the lack of sufficient job vacancy, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
merit attention.

However
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
limeted
prospect of employment for graduates in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
degrees is a
Possible spelling mistake found.
reall
cause of concern. Although it is a widespread problem amongst almost all students from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
educational background, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
graduates this is a more serious one.
Fortunately
, this issue can
be solved
by official authorities throughout taking
Possible spelling mistake found.
comprehencive
strategies, such as funding and empowering related communities and organizations.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
fact, if there were efficient policies, less unemployment rates would
Did you mean "have shown" or "show"?
shown
up in the future.

In conclusion
, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that universities should teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, and there is no justifiable reason not to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, since reducing consideration to these majors can cause
Possible spelling mistake found.
harmfull
effects in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
culture.
Moreover
, by adopting certain policies job prospects can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
.
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IELTS essay Rising university fees and limited employment prospects for graduates have led some people to say that universities should not teach arts subjects, like philosophy and history, and should only offer practical degree courses that maximise chances of employment.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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  • Rising university fees and limited employment prospects for graduates have led some people to say that universities should not teach arts subjects, like philosophy and history, and should only offer practical degree courses that maximise chances of employment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?