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Rich countries should allow jobs for skilled and knowledgeable employees who are from poor countries. Do you agree or disagree

It is undeniable fact, that rich Nations might allow jobs for well educated and talented workers who are the residents of poverty-stricken provisions. Therefore, I totally agree with the statement and forthcoming paragraph highlight my viewpoint with appropriate conclusion. To embark with, there are a lot of benefits that rich kingdoms will take from the employees of poor territory. First and foremost, is that companies of developed countries use the talent of well talented and high skilled worker to make profit for their organisation so that, rank and reputation of their forms will increased. For instance, in newspaper, "The Tribune" it was written that affluent countries, such as USA, Russia, Australia, etcetera offered around 50% jobs to the high skilled and literate workers of other Nations, so that they make profit and develop their countries with the help of talented workers of other territories. Secondly, it also helped the worker to improve their living standard in these countries because these States offered high wages to the workers who are well educated and have a skill to do work. By this way migrant employees change their life and live a better life in these Nation as compared to Homeland. For example, in the latest survey it was found that 70% of migrant workers living standard will improve after getting job in large companies of weathier nations. In conclusion, I fully agree with the statement because It helped the worker of poor countries to live better life and companies took a benefit of their knowledge and skills to develop their Nation.
It is undeniable fact, that rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nations
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
jobs for
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well educated
and talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
who are the residents of poverty-stricken provisions.
Therefore
, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement and forthcoming paragraph highlight my viewpoint with appropriate conclusion. To embark with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits that rich kingdoms will take from the employees of poor territory.
First
and foremost, is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
of developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the talent of well talented and high skilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
profit for their
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that, rank and reputation of their forms will increased.
For instance
, in newspaper,
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
The Tribune
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
it
was written
that affluent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, such
A determiner is probably missing here: "as the USA".
as USA
, Russia, Australia, etcetera offered around 50% jobs to the high skilled and literate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nations
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
profit and develop their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
of other territories.
Secondly
, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their living standard in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these States offered high wages to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
who are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well educated
and have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
to do work. By this way migrant employees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a better life in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nation
as compared to Homeland.
For example
, in the latest survey it
was found
that 70% of migrant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
living standard will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
after getting job in large
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
weathier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.
In conclusion
, I
fully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
the
Use "(worker)" if you mean to express an extreme with this adjective.
worker
of poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
better life and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
took a benefit of their knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to develop their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nation
.
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IELTS essay Rich countries should allow jobs for skilled and knowledgeable employees who are from poor countries.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
259 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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