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Restricting use of Phone on Schools, is it positive step

Restricting use of Phone on Schools, is it positive step Ol0aN
Most of the school-going kids nowadays have a mobile phone. It gives a sense of security and connectedness to both parents and kids. But nowadays many schools have taken a step to prohibit the use of mobile phones in school. I think it is a positive step as it helps students to focus on study and it will also impact their physical and mental well-being. Restricting the phones in the classroom itself with improving the learning. This is simply because without the phones student and teachers won't have distractions in the classroom. When students have their phones with them, for the instance, there is an unavoidable urge to view alerts, messages, and social media updates. Even the most professional teachers will end up sneaking their phones for texts or just to scroll the social media feed. These continuous distractions crumble the attention span and draw away the focus from important educational topics. This can have a significant impact on academic progress in the future. Thus not allowing the use of phones during sessions will help students to perform better in academics. Along with that having no access to phones on the school campus will have a positive effect not only on student's physical health but also on their mental well-being. Because in the absence of phones students will be not glued to phone screens but will more interacting with their classmates. To give a clear example, nowadays social media has become so addictive that students prefer knowing about fellow classmates via their social media updates. In many cases, it has been observed that students get affected very badly due to how someone else has reacted in their social media posts. Which may impact their mental health and they can face social anxiety or confidence issues in the long term. In another instance, nowadays there are a plethora of options in mobile games, students often end up playing those games for hours. This can result in students being less physically active and they may end up being overweight or obese in the future. Hence prohibiting students to carry phones will help prevent them from eroding their mental and physical health. In a conclusion, though mobile phones are an inseparable part of our modern lives, I strongly feel restricting their use in school is a beneficial step to keep students progressing in academics as well as sustain their physical and mental health.
Most of the school-going kids
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nowadays
have a mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
. It gives a sense of security and connectedness to both parents and kids.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have taken a step to prohibit the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
step as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to focus on study and it will
also
impact their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
well-being.

Restricting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
in the classroom itself with improving the learning. This is
simply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
without the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
and teachers won't have distractions in the classroom. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
with them, for the instance, there is an unavoidable urge to view alerts, messages, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
updates. Even the most professional teachers will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up sneaking their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
for texts or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to scroll the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
feed. These continuous distractions crumble the attention span and draw away the focus from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
educational topics.

This can have a significant impact on academic progress in the future.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
not allowing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
during sessions will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to perform better in academics.

Along with that having no access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
campus will have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on student's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
well-being.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
in the absence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will be not glued to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
screens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
will more interacting with their classmates. To give a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
example,
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nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
addictive that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
prefer knowing about
Consider using "classmates".
fellow classmates
via their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
updates. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases, it has
been observed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
badly
due to how someone else has reacted in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
posts. Which may impact their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
health and
they can face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
anxiety or confidence issues in the long term. In another instance,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nowadays
there are a plethora of options in mobile games,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up playing those games for hours. This can result in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
being less
physically
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
active and
they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up being overweight or obese in the future.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
prohibiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to carry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from eroding their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
health.

In a conclusion, though mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are an inseparable part of our modern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, I
strongly
feel restricting their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is a beneficial step to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
progressing in academics
as well
as sustain their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
health.
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IELTS essay Restricting use of Phone on Schools, is it positive step

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
400 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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