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Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence?

Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence? 20Rj
Personality is a trait that represents each one of us as individual human beings. I believe our experiences and environment have more influence over us, compared to the characteristics we were born with. I’d like to believe in the saying “no person is born a criminal”, using this as the base I would like prove that the characteristics we were born with, vanishes as we enter into adolescence because kids don’t have a rigid or stable mind, they are very easy to mould or manipulate. Humans pick up traits and characteristics as they grow up, from parents, friends, teachers etc. We are all massively influenced by our society and experiences. For instance, a kid who got bullied during his schooling will learn to be strong later on due to his experiences of being weak and a bully might come to realisation that what he did was very unethical and would try to be a better person. On the flip side, there are plenty of studies being done on personality and development till this day and it is proven that humans tend to portray characteristics from their childhood even when they become adults. we can’t deny the fact that we all carry at least few characteristics and traits from the time we were born, like some people have phobias, learning disabilities, some even have the curiosity to learn and study constantly. Well in conclusion, I do agree that the characteristics we were born with have an influence on us but I don’t think it’s as effectual as the traits picked up through experience.
Personality

is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trait
that represents each one of us as individual human beings. I believe

our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
and environment have more influence over us, compared to the

characteristics we
were born
with.

I’d like to

believe in the saying “no person
is born
a criminal”, using this as the base I

would like prove that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characteristics
we
were born
with, vanishes as we

enter into adolescence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
kids don’t have a rigid or stable mind, they are

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy to
Possible spelling mistake. 'mould' is British English.
mould
or manipulate. Humans pick up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traits
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characteristics
as

they grow up, from parents, friends, teachers etc. We are all
massively


influenced by our society and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
.
For instance
, a kid who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
bullied

during his schooling will learn to be strong later on due to his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
of

being weak and a bully might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'realisation' is British English.
realisation
that what he did was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very


unethical and would try to be a better person.

On the flip

side, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of studies
being done
on personality and development

till this day and it
is proven
that humans tend to portray
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characteristics
from

their childhood even when they become adults.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
we
can’t deny the fact that we

all carry at least few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characteristics
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traits
from the time we
were born
,

like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have phobias, learning disabilities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
even have the

curiosity to learn and study
constantly
.

Well in

conclusion, I do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characteristics
we
were born
with have an

influence on us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it’s as effectual as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traits
picked up

through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
.
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IELTS essay Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
262 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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