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regardless of their age, children commit major crimes should receive adult punishment. Do you agree or disagree?

regardless of their age, children commit major crimes should receive adult punishment. wMxye
In many societies, juvenile crimes are rampant mainly because of disparities in the resources available. Whilst, some sections of society believe that the punishment for crime should be universal, regardless of age, others believe vice versa. However, I believe that the time awarded as punishment should reflect the nature of crime amongst juveniles. I will substantiate my reasoning in the course of this essay. First, many crimes committed by teens are out of desperation, the fact that there are no job opportunities available will lead them to turn to crime, as the lure of instant cash is extremely attractive. Therefore, the system must look into these offences based on the severity of the act in comparison to the nature of the individual. For example, in many countries, misbehaviors by teens will result in a warning and a mandatory unpaid community service sentence. This I feel, is correct because a kid should be institutionalized because he made a wrong turn in life, instead, he needs the support of the system to be set on the right track. Alternately, there are crimes for which it is better in the public's interest that they are convicted and put behind bars. These crimes are more serious and therefore require stricter punishment. For example, in the 2012 Delhi Gang rape case, one of the accused was a juvenile, and as per law, they could not receive the death penalty, so instead, he was rehabilitated and was released in 2015. Now although he was the youngest member to partake in this act, the act he committed was so gruesome, which should have warranted the same punishment as the adult offenders. This was not accepted by many in society, because they are afraid that he will commit this act again. In conclusion, the nature of the crime should be the determining factor in whether a person should receive jail time or be asked to do unpaid community service.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
societies, juvenile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
are rampant
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of disparities in the resources available. Whilst,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sections of society believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
should be universal, regardless of age, others believe vice versa.
However
, I believe that the time awarded as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
should reflect the nature of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
amongst juveniles. I will substantiate my reasoning in the course of this essay.

First
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
committed by teens are out of desperation, the fact that there are no job opportunities available will lead them to turn to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, as the lure of instant cash is
extremely
attractive.
Therefore
, the system
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
look into these
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
based on the severity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
act
in comparison
to the nature of the individual.
For example
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries,
Possible spelling mistake found.
misbehaviors
by teens will result in a warning and a mandatory unpaid community service sentence. This I feel, is correct
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a kid should
be institutionalized
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he made a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
turn in life,
instead
, he needs the support of the system to
be set
on the right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
.

Alternately
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
for which it is better in the public's interest that they
are convicted
and put behind bars. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
are more serious and
therefore
require stricter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
.
For example
, in the 2012 Delhi Gang rape case, one of the accused was a juvenile, and as per law, they could not receive the death penalty,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
instead
, he
was rehabilitated
and
was released
in 2015.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
although he was the youngest member to partake in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
act
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
act
he committed was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
gruesome, which should have warranted the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
as the adult offenders. This was not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
in society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are afraid that he will commit this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
act
again.

In conclusion
, the nature of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
should be the determining factor in whether a person should receive jail time or
be asked
to do unpaid community service.
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IELTS essay regardless of their age, children commit major crimes should receive adult punishment.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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