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Recently, working extra hours has been increasingly common among employees in many countries

Recently, working extra hours has been increasingly common among employees in many countries 8dgdx
Recently, working extra hours has been increasingly common among employees in many countries. This essay will discuss the reason for this phenomenon and then explain why it will bring more detrimental impacts on employees than benefits. Nowadays, working overtime seems unavoidable and there are a variety of reason leading to this trend. Firstly, because of the development and advancement of society, living expenses is escalating, which force people to spend extra hours at work so as to get more money than just their basic salary. This helps people to afford lives and pay for their daily living costs such as electric and water bills. Another reason is heavy workload. Regular work hours might not be enough for employees to finish their tasks, especially in a peak season so they have to work overtime to tackle with this workload. In today’s modern world, competition at work is indispensable part. Therefore, if people do not complete their work well, they can be replace at any time. However, it is undeniable that this trend can present many problems. To begin with, working too hard can make employees’ health deteriorate. If people spend too many hours at our job and do not have time to take part in outdoor activities, this will result in tiredness and cardiac problems like obesity and heart attack. Furthermore, working too much can also cause a lot of mental problems. For instance, great work pressure can lead to stress and more seriously depression, especially young people. In the other hand, working extra hours will leave them little time for themselves and their families. Many parents have a little time with their children so they can not take care of them carefully, which contributes to negative youth development and the relationship among family members will become more distant. In conclusion, although it is understandable that why people spend more time at work, I believe that the effects it brings are more disadvantageous than beneficial.
Recently,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
has been
increasingly
common among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries. This essay will discuss the reason for this phenomenon and then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why it will bring more detrimental impacts on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
than benefits.

Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
overtime seems unavoidable and there are a variety of reason leading to this trend.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the development and advancement of society, living expenses is escalating, which force
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to spend extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more money than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
their basic salary. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to afford
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and pay for their daily living costs such as electric and water bills. Another reason is heavy workload. Regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
might not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to finish their tasks,
especially
in a peak season
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
overtime to tackle with this workload. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s modern world, competition at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is indispensable part.
Therefore
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not complete their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
well, they can be
Consider using the past participle "replaced"?
replace
at any time.

However
, it is undeniable that this trend can present
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees’
health deteriorate. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
at our job and do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in outdoor activities, this will result in tiredness and cardiac problems like obesity and heart attack.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
too much can
also
cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
mental problems.
For instance
, great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
pressure can lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and more
seriously
depression,
especially
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In the other hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for themselves and their families.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
parents have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can not take care of them
carefully
, which contributes to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
youth development and the relationship among family members will become more distant.

In conclusion
, although it is understandable that why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, I believe that the effects it brings are more disadvantageous than beneficial.
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IELTS essay Recently, working extra hours has been increasingly common among employees in many countries

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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