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Radio is being replaced by T.V and Internet. Do you agree or disagree?

Radio is being replaced by T. V and Internet. LYMn
Technologies like Television and internet are irresistible for anyone to live without, it plays a core desire in keeping people all the time engaged and satisfied. Radio on the other hand was quite popular in the olden days when they didn’t have any idea about the changes that was going to come by an advanced technology, so I disagree with the radio being replaced by television and internet instead it will be a complete nightmare. Social networking is such a platform that not only has got so many advantages in it but also touched the lives of people globally, people started sleeping and waking up with it on the contrary television is another kind of gadget that you will see in each and every households, which became so much essential for news and entertainments. It absolutely turned everything easier and comfortable for anyone in this very complex and competitive world. However listening to a radio was not at all a bad option but when the television is there to show every aspects in radio with an extra work of pictures on screen then anyone would go for the better option like that kind of innovation and creativity. Hence it clearly recommends that we must definitely choose the new and updated version of evolutionary appliances rather than staying outdated and dull. To my conclusion, updating yourself with every generation is not a choice in fact it is an opportunity for us to grow wiser and smarter as nothing is impossible yet it will begin from radio to unbound automations in the near future as well.
Technologies like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
and internet are irresistible for anyone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without, it plays a core desire in keeping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
all the time engaged and satisfied.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Radio
on the other hand
was quite popular in the olden days when they didn’t have any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
that was going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
by an advanced technology,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I disagree with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
being replaced
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and internet
instead
it will be a complete nightmare.

Social networking is such a platform that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages in it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
touched the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
globally,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
sleeping and waking up with it
on the contrary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is another kind of gadget that you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in each and every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "household"?
households
, which became
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much essential for news and entertainments. It
absolutely
turned everything easier and comfortable for anyone in this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
complex and competitive world.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
listening to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
was not at all a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
option
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is there to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "aspect"?
aspects
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
with an extra work of pictures on screen then anyone would go for the better option like that kind of innovation and creativity.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
it
clearly
recommends that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
definitely choose the new and updated version of evolutionary appliances
rather
than staying outdated and dull.

To my conclusion, updating yourself with every generation is not a choice in fact it is an opportunity for us to grow wiser and smarter as nothing is impossible
yet
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
to unbound automations in the near future
as well
.
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IELTS essay Radio is being replaced by T. V and Internet.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
264 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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