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Racism and xenophobia are attitudes we are taught

Racism and xenophobia are attitudes we are taught BLmDa
To discuss racism is always debatable issue. In many countries racism and xenophobia are buried in deep valley, although it is still in existence in some undeveloped countries or even sometimes appear in developed or developing countries in the form of hate crime. Despite the variety and ambiguity here I would discuss this view and give my opinion afterwards. To begin with, racism and xenophobia are social diseases and once it burst out it spread like epidemic. Any child does not born with the thought of racism, but it is taught either by family members or by society. Moreover, once racism flourish in one’s mind he or she suffer from xenophobia. In some tribal area, for an illustration, some people of two different casts have contempt for each other that sometimes resulted in riot and homicide. In addition, the feeling of revenge infuriate the anger of people who belong to suffering cast or society. Generally, this phenomenon take birth due to contempt toward other cast or society, or sometimes people of one race believe they are superior than people of different races. For an example, in past white skined people hate black people. However, this all attitudes as mentioned above are not genetically inherited in child, that means it is taught. To sum up, according to me, if racism and xenophobia are taught, then the problems that come from them can be resolved too. If everyone try to understand born is not of our choice otherwise every child has aspire to take birth in the thorough-breed family. The best way to remove both from society is raise voice against them those gives stimulation rather tolerate racism; the best example is Nelson Mandela who opposed racism, and get tremendous success in Africa.
To discuss
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
racism
is always debatable issue. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
racism
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
xenophobia
are buried
in deep valley, although it is
still
in existence in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
undeveloped countries or even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
appear in developed or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
in the form of hate crime. Despite the variety and ambiguity here I would discuss this view and give my opinion afterwards.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
racism
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
xenophobia
are social diseases and once it burst out it spread like epidemic. Any child does not
After the auxiliary verb 'do', use the base form of a verb. Did you mean "bear"?
born
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
racism
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
is taught
either by family members or by society.
Moreover
, once
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
racism
flourish in one’s mind he or she
The pronoun 'she' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "suffers", "suffered".
suffer
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
xenophobia
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
tribal area, for an illustration,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
casts have contempt for each other that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
resulted in riot and homicide.
In addition
, the feeling of revenge infuriate the anger of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who belong to suffering cast or society.

Generally
, this phenomenon take birth due to contempt toward other cast or society, or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of one race believe they are
Some adjectives derived from Latin act as both adjective and comparative. In these cases use the collocation 'to'
superior than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
races. For an example, in past white
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "skinned", the past tense form of the verb 'skin'?
skined
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hate black
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, this all attitudes as mentioned above are not
genetically
inherited in child, that means it
is taught
.

To sum up, according to me, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
racism
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
xenophobia
are taught
, then the problems that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from them can
be resolved
too. If everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "tries", "tried".
try
to understand born is not of our choice
otherwise
every child has
Use past participle here: "aspired".
aspire
to take birth in the thorough-breed family. The best way to remove both from society is raise voice against them those
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "gives'" or "gif's"?
gives
stimulation
rather
tolerate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
racism
; the best example is Nelson Mandela who opposed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
racism
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
tremendous success in Africa.
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IELTS essay Racism and xenophobia are attitudes we are taught

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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