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Question: Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Question: Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. Y6MK
Adolescence is crucial period as children are growing physically, mentally and emotionally. During this period, young people need to learn different skills regarding life and society. In my opinion, it is beneficial it they provide help in community work in leisure time. To begin with teenagers are curious and eager to try different things. They need proper guidance during this period. If they involve in good work, it will encourage them to be best version of themselves. They could engage in cleanliness program or educational program. Such jobs may not provide financial aid but they surely help to build good character. Youths understand the value of society, family and their role in order to protect their locality. In my thought, this will bring positive impact to the community. Firstly, it saves the budget of local government. They do not need to hire more people to do certain tasks. For instance, to clean local area young people could help them. Secondly, it also teach them to implement the rules exist in society. As a result, there will be peace and order in society. Furthermore, youths become more responsible and mature. To sum up, I believe that adolescents need to perform community work as it is advantageous for them and the society.
Adolescence is crucial period as children are growing
physically
, mentally and
emotionally
. During this period, young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
regarding life and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. In my opinion, it is beneficial
Consider adding a comma here.
it
they provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in community work in leisure time.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are curious and eager to try
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
things. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
proper guidance during this period. If they involve in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
work, it will encourage them to be best version of themselves. They could engage in cleanliness program or educational program. Such jobs may not provide financial aid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
surely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to build
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
character. Youths understand the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, family and their role in order to protect their locality.

In my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
, this will bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact to the community.
Firstly
, it saves the budget of local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. They do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to hire more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to do certain tasks.
For instance
, to clean local area young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them.
Secondly
, it
also
Did you mean "teaches"?
teach
them to implement the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
exist in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
As a result
, there will be peace and order in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Furthermore
, youths become more responsible and mature.

To sum up, I believe that adolescents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to perform community work as it is advantageous for them and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
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IELTS essay Question: Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
210 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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