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Some people argue that holding sporting events is beneficial to a country's development. However, other people hold the opposite opinion. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people argue that holding sporting events is beneficial to a country's development. However, other people hold the opposite opinion. jpka
Organising sporting events regularly is good for a country’s development, however, some people disagree with this point of view. This essay is going to discuss both views and to explain why I believe holding sporting events is beneficial to a country’s development. The primary reason for people to support holding sporting events is because it can raise resident’s awareness on the importance of sport and assist them in maintaining a healthy lifestyle. When residents sport regularly, it can improve their health. Consequently, it can reduce the usage of medical service, then people in urgent need can assess medical service more easily and efficiently. Meanwhile, the government’s financial burden of medical cost could be mitigated. When costs on medical service is reduced, the government would be allowed to have more budget on urban planning or welfare schedule. However, some people disagree that that it is advantageous to a country’s development by holding sporting events. They believe that holding sporting events would need to spend substantial expenses including to construction cost and administrative cost in organising sport event. This would adversely impact on a government financial planning and might cause the government to lose budget in the event of financial crisis. Personally, I support the view that holding sporting events is beneficial to a country’s development. This can improve health of citizens and reduce a government’s financial burden on medical service. Although it may increase building and labour cost, it is also generating more job opportunities in a country. As such, the unemployment rate of a country will also be decreased. It will directly assist to maintain stable economy environment of a country and ultimately causes many benefits to a country development.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Organising' is British English.
Organising
sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
regularly
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
,
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
disagree with this point of view. This essay is going to discuss both views and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holding
sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
is beneficial to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
development.

The primary reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holding
sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can raise resident’s awareness on the importance of sport and assist them in maintaining a healthy lifestyle. When residents sport
regularly
, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their health.
Consequently
, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
, then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in urgent need can assess
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
more
easily
and
efficiently
. Meanwhile, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
burden of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
could
be mitigated
. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to have more budget on urban planning or welfare schedule.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
disagree
Possible typo: you repeated a word
that that
it is advantageous to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holding
sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
. They believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holding
sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
would need to spend substantial expenses including to construction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
and administrative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
in
Possible spelling mistake. 'organising' is British English.
organising
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
. This would
adversely
impact on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
planning and might cause the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to lose budget in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
crisis.

Personally
, I support the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holding
sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
is beneficial to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
. This can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
health of citizens and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
burden on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
. Although it may increase building and
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
, it is
also
generating more job opportunities in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. As such, the unemployment rate of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will
also
be decreased
. It will
directly
assist to maintain stable economy environment of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and
ultimately
causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
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IELTS essay Some people argue that holding sporting events is beneficial to a country's development. However, other people hold the opposite opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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  • Some people argue that holding sporting events is beneficial to a country's development. However, other people hold the opposite opinion. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.