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Q. Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion ?

Q. Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Y5Aj
There is no doubt that the circumstances regarding to profession and finance does not remains same for most of the people. While some part of society accepts these situation as a part of their destiny, and choose not to do anything about it. I am in the support of the latter view, and I firmly believe that by working hard along with proactive approach, humans can turn around these difficult times. Human-beings who are in support of the former view, are generally procrastinators and believe in luck. They think that their situation will get better with passing time, or there luck might favour them which inhibits them to put efforts in order to change their condition. For instance, many people still prefers to buy lottery tickets, hoping for huge monetary benefits which will alleviate their poverty. Moreover, this attitude also make them indolent, thus preventing them to work hard. As a consequence, they might not be able to find solution for their problems. That is why Most of them accept these bad situations. The question is “How to improve such conditions’’? The answer might lies in the constant effort and hard work which oneself’ is willing to put. If the person is hard working, then there is a great probability of him getting success. “ Elon musk” who was once broke, now the richest person of earth is the clear example that by constantly working towards improvement will change the course of life. This will not only bring immense professional satisfaction but also might change the financial status by enhancing their work output. Futhermore, with proactive approach towards the problem often leads to the higher chances of finding the solution. Hence, it is clear that there be an effort to change certain situations. In conclusion, although by accepting the hard time such professional unsatisfaction and poverty might be the choice of some people, I am in favour of those who are willing to give their efforts to change certain situations.
There is no doubt that the circumstances
The phrase 'regarding to' is not correct. Use "regarding" or "regard to".
regarding to
profession and finance does not
The verb 'does' requires base form of the verb: "remain"
remains
same for most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
part of society accepts
Did you mean "this situation" or "these situations"?
these situation
as a part of their destiny, and choose not to do anything about it. I am in the support of the latter view, and I
firmly
believe that by working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
along with proactive approach, humans can turn around these difficult times.

Human-beings who are in support of the former view, are
generally
procrastinators and believe in luck. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that their situation will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better with passing time, or there luck
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
them which inhibits them to put
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efforts
in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
their condition.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
still
prefers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
lottery tickets, hoping for huge monetary benefits which will alleviate their poverty.
Moreover
, this attitude
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them indolent,
thus
preventing them to work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
. As a consequence, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not be able to find solution for their problems.
That is
why Most of them accept these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
situations.

The question is “How to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
such conditions’’? The answer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
lies in the constant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effort
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
work which oneself’ is willing to put. If the person is
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
hard working
, then there is a great probability of him getting success. “
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Elon musk
” who was once broke,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
the richest person of earth is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
example that by
constantly
working towards improvement will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
the course of life. This will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
bring immense professional satisfaction
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
the financial status by enhancing their work output.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Futhermore
, with proactive approach towards the problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
leads to the higher chances of finding the solution.
Hence
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that there be an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effort
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
certain situations.

In conclusion
, although by accepting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
time such professional unsatisfaction and poverty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be the choice of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, I am in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of those who are willing to give their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efforts
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
certain situations.
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IELTS essay Q. Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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