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Q: In some countries,there are not enough medical & educational facilities in rural areas.Some people believe newly graduated teachers & doctors should be sent to rural areas to work for some time.while others suggest that people should be free to choose a place to work. Discuss both these views and give own opinion.

Q: In some countries, there are not enough medical & educational facilities in rural areas. Some people believe newly graduated teachers & doctors should be sent to rural areas to work for some time. while others suggest that people should be free to choose a place to work. PY32
Answer: With awarness continually growing, people of extraordinary understanding the world over turn to the issue of changing climate. Whereas some individuals claim that in order to improve treatment and education in villages, newly doctors and teachers should send there, others assert that focus should be shifted on their preference where they would like to do work. In this essay, however, I will present a full-fledged discussion on either stance prior to reaching a conclusion including my perception. On the one hand, newly coming doctors and teachers plays a vital role to improve their own choosing places. In other words, if the medical officers and teachers get opportunity to do their work in a place where they want just after getting appoint to their post, they would give their fully attendence on their jobs, and the mass will be more happy by getting their services. in that time they will be able to their realize their respobsibilities, this is because of the fact that they become more ardent on their profession at the first stage. Research conducted by the UNICEF reveals that doctor and teacher both are very humanitarian jobs, so they should not create pressure on their choosing place because mental satisfaction must need to do this kind of jobs. Hence, they will be able to develop their own area. On the other hand, sending newly doctors & teachers to village areas exerts a significant influence on the development of country. To be more precise, it is true that countrysides do not develop like their city, specially among the developing countries, for that the government should take strides to improve their rural areas, thats way, a large number of newly doctors & teachers should send to village areas to remove their demand. In this context suffice, it to say is that when people will get proper treatment and education from their village, so they will not want to go city or another country for those, in this way villages will be more suitable places for living, even in an effort to ascertain health maintenance and education for village people, thus a developing country can be developed across the world. As a consequence, governments should send newly doctors & teachers to the villages people then givinig priority on their choosing places. In essence, having thoroughly analysed both perspective, I would avow that the significance of sending newly doctors and teachers to rural areas is indeterminable. Hence, except for a person with a tendency to nurtute an unwise decision, anyone would support my standpoint, for the arguments mentioned above leave no scope for further debate.
Answer:

With
Possible spelling mistake found.
awarness
continually
growing,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of extraordinary understanding the world over turn to the issue of changing climate. Whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals claim that in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
treatment and education in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
there, others assert that focus should
be shifted
on their preference where they would like to do work. In this essay,
however
, I will
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
present


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
a
full-fledged discussion on either stance prior to reaching a conclusion including my perception.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newly
coming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
plays a vital role to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choosing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
In other words
, if the medical officers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
opportunity to do their work in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
where they want
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
after getting appoint to their post, they would give their
fully
Possible spelling mistake found.
attendence
on their jobs, and the mass will be more happy by getting their services.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
that time they will be able to their realize their
Possible spelling mistake found.
respobsibilities
, this is
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "because".
because of the fact that
they become more ardent on their profession at the
first
stage. Research conducted by the UNICEF reveals that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctor
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
both are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
humanitarian jobs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they should not create pressure on their choosing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
mental
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
satisfaction


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
must
need to do this kind of jobs.
Hence
, they will be able to develop their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
area.

On the other hand
, sending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
&
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
to

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
village
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
exerts a significant influence on the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. To be more precise, it is true that countrysides do not develop like their city,
specially
among the developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, for that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
should


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
take
strides to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
,
Possible spelling mistake found
thats
way,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
&
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
to remove their demand. In this context suffice, it to say is that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
proper treatment and education from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they will not want to go city or another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for those, in this way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
will be more suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
for living, even in an effort to ascertain health maintenance and education for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
thus
a developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can
be developed
across the world. As a consequence,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
&
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
then
Possible spelling mistake found.
givinig
priority on their choosing places.

In essence, having
thoroughly
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysed' is British English.
analysed
both perspective, I would avow that the significance of sending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
to rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
is indeterminable.
Hence
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
a person with a tendency to
Possible spelling mistake found.
nurtute
an unwise decision, anyone would support my standpoint, for the arguments mentioned above
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
no scope for
further
debate.
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IELTS essay Q: In some countries, there are not enough medical & educational facilities in rural areas. Some people believe newly graduated teachers & doctors should be sent to rural areas to work for some time. while others suggest that people should be free to choose a place to work.

Essay
  American English
9 paragraphs
434 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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