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Purpose of Traveling based on 2002 survey

Purpose of Traveling based on 2002 survey 73x2n
Traveling has been one of an idea for breaking from tedious and dull routine such as work or school. However, different people will have different reason for their need for traveling. Based on a recent survey in 2002, 73% of people go traveling mostly for business purpose. It seems that the first quarter of the year is pretty busy to develop the business as it is the fresh start of accounting month. This high trend is also seen high in September, 53% of respondent answered so. It might also indicate that September is also the good month for developing the business. Looking into what is highest in June, apparently most would go on holiday as the survey showed 54% of respondents answered this. June might be the perfect time to go on a family holiday as school has holiday. While in December, the response are only slightly different between business and holiday, still holiday is the highest as December is the season for Christmas, and people love to go on holiday, spending time with family.
Traveling has been one of an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
for breaking from tedious and dull routine such as work or school.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reason for their need for traveling. Based on a recent survey in 2002, 73% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
go traveling
mostly
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
purpose. It seems that the
first
quarter of the year is pretty busy to develop the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
as it is the fresh
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of accounting month. This high trend is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
high in September, 53% of respondent answered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. It might
also
indicate that September is
also
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
month for developing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. Looking into what is highest in June,
apparently
most would go on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
as the survey
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
54% of respondents answered this. June might be the perfect time to go on a family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
as school has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
. While in December, the response are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
slightly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
,
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
is the highest as December is the season for Christmas, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to go on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
, spending time with family.
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IELTS essay Purpose of Traveling based on 2002 survey

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
175 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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