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Public libraries should provide books and not waste their limited resources on expensive high-tech media such as software, videos or DVDs. Do you agree or disagree?

Public libraries should provide books and not waste their limited resources on expensive high-tech media such as software, videos or DVDs. 9Llpn
Public libraries are great source of information. Many people believe that only books should be ‎provided in public libraries, and having DVDs and videos there is waste of money. I completely ‎disagree with this notion because these new storage devices can profoundly benefit our countries. ‎ The primary reason why I believe public libraries should invest on DVDs and videos is that using these ‎sources can reduce the number of trees that are being cut down every day. Papers are made from ‎wood, the main source of wood is forests and jungles, which provide oxygen for our planet. Books ‎require a sizeable number of trees and eliminating them by other sources can be beneficial for the ‎environment. Therefore, Using DVDs not only can save a vast number of trees, but it will also have ‎provided us with cleaner environment within a few years. ‎ On the other hand, DVDs and videos have longer life cycles. Despite advances that have been made in ‎increasing the life cycle of books, keeping them in secure places in museums for instance, they are not ‎as durable as DVDs, or videos that are usually made out of recycled plastic. If libraries invest on DVDs ‎and other types of data storage devices, they will greatly reduce their expenditure in the long run. In ‎other words, the more investments on recent storage technology, the lower the cost would be. ‎ ‎ In conclusion, I would rather our government invested on DVDs and videos for libraries rather than ‎new books, because in this way not only can we save our forests, but we could also save money to ‎invest on other necessary aspects of our country. ‎
Public libraries are great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of information.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
should be ‎provided in public libraries, and having DVDs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
there is waste of money. I
A verb is probably missing after 'completely'.
completely ‎
disagree with this notion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these new storage devices can
profoundly
benefit our countries. ‎

The primary reason why I believe public libraries should invest on DVDs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
is that using these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
‎sources
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of trees that are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down every day. Papers
are made
from ‎wood, the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of wood is forests and jungles, which provide oxygen for our planet.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Books
‎require a sizeable number of trees and eliminating them by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
can be beneficial for the ‎environment.
Therefore
, Using DVDs not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can save a vast number of trees,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it will
also
have ‎provided us with cleaner environment within a few years. ‎

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, DVDs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
have longer life cycles. Despite advances that have
been made
in ‎increasing the life cycle of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, keeping them in secure places in museums
for instance
, they are not ‎as durable as DVDs, or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
that are
usually
made out of recycled plastic. If libraries invest on DVDs ‎and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
types of data storage devices, they will
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their expenditure in the long run. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
‎other
words, the more investments on recent storage technology, the lower the cost would be. ‎

‎
In conclusion
, I would
rather
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
invested on DVDs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
for libraries
rather
than ‎new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in this way not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can we save our forests,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we could
also
save money to ‎invest on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
necessary aspects of our country. ‎
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IELTS essay Public libraries should provide books and not waste their limited resources on expensive high-tech media such as software, videos or DVDs.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
278 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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