Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many people play video games as a main way to entertain. Do the advantages of playing video games outweigh the disadvantages?

Many people play video games as a main way to entertain. Do the advantages of playing video games outweigh the disadvantages? awJMG
These days, video games are considered a major recreational activity for many people. From my perspective, the drawbacks that accompany this trend are more significant than the benefits. On the one hand, playing video games has some certain merits. Firstly, video games could be an effective method to help players relieve stress. It is because when playing games, people can be able to enter a new world and escape the reality of their daily activities, which means that people can temporarily forget about their problems. Secondly, playing games allows players to horn some essential skills. For example, mission-based and multilevel – based games can stimulate people to think strategically to overcome challenging levels, which might lead to an improvement in problem-solving skills. On the other hand, there are some downsides of playing video games. The most obvious disadvantage is that it could be detrimental to people’s health. As games are addictive, people tend to play games excessively. This leads to a lack of physical activities, which in turn lead to a higher risk of health problems such as eyes-related diseases or backbone problems. In addition, playing games can worsen a student’s academic performance. Once students are addicted to video games, they seem to procrastinate on their studying or just ignore the deadline to play their favourite games. Furthermore, people communication skills might be rusty when people spend an excessive amount of time playing games. It is because people with internet-connected games can easily chat with others without ever leaving home, which means these people might be confused when they have to deal with actual face-to-face interactions. In conclusion, while playing games can bring about considerable benefits, I am convinced that its drawbacks are more significant.
These days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are considered
a major recreational activity for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. From my perspective, the drawbacks that accompany this trend are more significant than the benefits.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certain merits.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
could be an effective method to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
players relieve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can be able to enter a new world and escape the reality of their daily activities, which means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
temporarily
forget about their problems.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
players to horn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
essential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For example
, mission-based and multilevel
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can stimulate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
strategically
to overcome challenging levels, which might lead to an improvement in problem-solving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
downsides of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. The most obvious disadvantage is that it could be detrimental to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
health. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are addictive,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
excessively
. This leads to a lack of physical activities, which in turn lead to a higher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of health problems such as eyes-related diseases or backbone problems.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can worsen a student’s academic performance. Once students
are addicted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, they seem to procrastinate on their studying or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the deadline to play their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
might be rusty when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend an excessive amount of time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with internet-connected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can
easily
chat with others without ever leaving home, which means these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might
be confused
when they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with actual face-to-face interactions.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can bring about considerable benefits, I
am convinced
that its drawbacks are more significant.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Many people play video games as a main way to entertain. Do the advantages of playing video games outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts