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With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed? XGlNN
There are so many people in our country in the age group of elderly people, so with the improvements in today's health care, society has to take more care for elder people. There is a large number of elder people in every contry and because of that every country has to make sure that there has been given all the best health facilities to them, there has been started a national program of health - care for elderly in india. in this program, it is envisaged providing promotional, preventive, curative and rehabilitative services in an integrated manner for the elderly in various government health facility. According to population census 2011 there are nearly 140 million elderly persons ( aged 60 years or above ) in india. so this is a very large number and it is increase day by day, as the population of india increase. so government has to make sure that there is all the health care is taken by the best doctors. and as well as the elder people's are getting more attention. There are so many needs of older people like they need a proper health care, because they get many health problems when they get older, like Arthritis is the number one condition that people 65 or older contend with. it leads to pain and decreases mobility, Heart disease is the leading killer of adults over age 65, etc. so there are many disrases like this in which older people wants a proper health care, and it can be managed by taking care of that whatever they eat it should be healthy, focus on prevention, get more sleep, etc. So, I think by doing all this things we can take a good health care for older people's.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in our country in the age group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
with the improvements in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
, society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
take more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
for elder
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

There is
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in every
Possible spelling mistake found.
contry
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that every country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that there has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
all the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
facilities to them, there has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
a national program of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
india
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
this program, it
is envisaged
providing promotional, preventive, curative and rehabilitative services in an integrated manner for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
in various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
facility.

According to population census 2011 there are
nearly
140 million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
persons
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
aged 60 years or above
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
india
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
large number and it is increase day by day, as the population of
Possible spelling mistake found.
india
increase.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that there is all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
is taken
by the best doctors.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
as well
as the elder
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's are getting more attention.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
needs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like they need a proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
, like Arthritis is the number one condition that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
65 or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
contend with.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
leads to pain and decreases mobility, Heart disease is the leading killer of adults over age 65, etc.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
disrases
like this in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
wants
a proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
, and it can
be managed
by taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of that whatever they eat it should be healthy, focus on prevention,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more sleep, etc.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
by doing all
Did you mean "these"?
this
things we can take a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's.
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IELTS essay With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
292 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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