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PROVISION OF HEALTH SERVICES SHOULD BE FREE OR THE RESPONSIBILITY OF THE GOVERNMENT? DISCUSS? v.1

PROVISION OF HEALTH SERVICES SHOULD BE FREE OR THE RESPONSIBILITY OF THE GOVERNMENT? DISCUSS? v. 1
Health services are important as diseases are increasing. It is argued that whether it should be free or government should take responsibility. I think it is the duty of government to take care of their citizen. This essay discusses regarding their role in the health sector. To embark with, since citizens are paying huge taxes, it is the sole duty of government to provide free medical facilities. The government should reach every corner of the country to help people regarding health issues. To exemplify, polio vaccines should be provided free of cost to everyone, since it harms infants. In addition, as the population is increasing, more hospitals should be established to accommodate them. If not, the government should expand or upgrade their medical facilities in existing health care for instant treatment of patients. For example, in India, underdeveloped hospitals fail to provide fast care, resulting in even worse condition. Furthermore, poor people, who cannot afford expensive treatment, should be covered under government care. The Government should launch different schemes to undertake underprivileged people to access health care services. To illustrate, free medical camps should be launched at every corner for general health check. Thus, people can acknowledge it. While private hospital charges a lot of money, the government should penalise them for denying or charging high cost of poor To conclude, although health services cannot be free as it costs a lot to maintain this sector. The Government should come forward to make enough budget towards health care. So, that health is not being compromised due to lack of treatment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
services are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as diseases are increasing. It
is argued
that whether it should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should take responsibility. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is the duty of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their citizen. This essay discusses regarding their role in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
sector.

To embark with, since citizens are paying huge taxes, it is the sole duty of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
medical facilities. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should reach every corner of the country to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues. To exemplify, polio vaccines should
be provided
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
of cost to everyone, since it harms infants.

In addition
, as the population is increasing, more hospitals should
be established
to accommodate them. If not, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should expand or upgrade their medical facilities in existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
for instant treatment of patients.
For example
, in India, underdeveloped hospitals fail to provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
, resulting in even worse condition.

Furthermore
, poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who cannot afford expensive treatment, should
be covered
under
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
should launch
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
schemes to undertake underprivileged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to access
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
services. To illustrate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
medical camps should
be launched
at every corner for general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can acknowledge it. While private hospital charges
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
Possible spelling mistake. 'penalise' is British English.
penalise
them for denying or charging high cost of poor

To conclude
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
services cannot be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
as it costs a lot to maintain this sector. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
forward to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
budget towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
.
“So , that” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is not
being compromised
due to lack of treatment
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay PROVISION OF HEALTH SERVICES SHOULD BE FREE OR THE RESPONSIBILITY OF THE GOVERNMENT? DISCUSS? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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