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Proposal for free course in an organisation

Proposal for free course in an organisation 96bop
It is stated that, I belong to a low bracket family and I have lately done my graduation in engineering along with that I did six moths courses in SEO and WordPress. However, in result of Covid 19 I haven't gotten any opportunity related with my field so, I joined ibex Islamabad in 2020 and I worked there for almost 10 months but as a result of some family issues I needed to left my job and then I got back home town. Therefore right now I am unemployed since from last four months and I am Bearley dealing with daily expenditures. As a matter of fact, I am not in a market to pay for paid course right now. Moreover, I heard about Enabler from friend of mine approximately a month before and it cached my eyes after that, I did some research regards this consequently,   I literally found it interesting and related to my skills. A part from that, i watched a lot of successful stories on YouTube which stimulate my courage anormously about this organisation. In result, I am now so enthusiastic to join Enabler as soon as I can. Therefore I humbly  request to give me an opportunity to be a part of this community that I can acquire some basic knowledge together with to do some evaluation precisely to pursue my career in this field. I will be greatful to you for this.
It
is stated
that, I belong to a low bracket family and I have lately done my graduation in engineering along with that I did six moths courses in SEO and WordPress.
However
, in result of
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
Covid 19
I haven't gotten any opportunity related with my field
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
ibex Islamabad in 2020 and I worked there for almost 10 months
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
as a result
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
family issues I needed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
my job and then I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
back home town.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
I
am unemployed
since from last four
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
months and
I am
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bearley
dealing with daily expenditures. As a matter of fact, I am not in a market to pay for paid course right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

Moreover
, I heard about Enabler from friend of mine approximately a month
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and it cached my eyes after that, I did
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
research regards this
consequently
,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
I
literally
found it interesting and related to my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. A part from that,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
successful stories on YouTube which stimulate my courage
Possible spelling mistake found.
anormously
about this
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
. In result, I am
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
enthusiastic to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
Enabler as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as I can.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
I
humbly
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
request to give me an opportunity to be a part of this community that I can acquire
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic knowledge together with to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
evaluation
precisely
to pursue my career in this field. I will be
Possible spelling mistake found.
greatful
to you for this.
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IELTS essay Proposal for free course in an organisation

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
239 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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