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As the average age at which people get married increases, some people worry that will have negative impact on the family. To what extent you agree or disagree?

As the average age at which people get married increases, some people worry that will have negative impact on the family. XyWeA
In general, people nowadays are slightly older when they get married. I completely disagree with the statement that there would be any negative impact on the family because older people are financially more secure, they have good paying jobs, and they are mature enough to handle relationships. They have achieved everything required to raise a healthy family. Firstly, people marrying at older age are financially more secure to take care of their families. They have good paying jobs to provide good lifestyle to their children’s. They can focus more on their child/children’s because they are strong financially, and they don’t have to run for money leaving their family unattended. In my locality, I have seen most of couples who got married at late 30’s or early 40’s they have happy married life without any negativity. They are raising their child by providing the required moral and financial support. Secondly, people getting married at older age are mature, they know value of relations and handle relationship very well because they are less kiddish just like people marrying at younger age. They know how to manage family and take care of the responsibilities such as managing house with their spouse, help in raising children’s. They end up making stronger bonds with the family. For instance, statistics states that people who marry earlier have more chances of getting divorced because they are immature to handle complicated relations in comparison to people getting married at later years as they are more committed towards relationships. On flip side, some people believe that getting married in late 30’s or 40’s would be less fertile to have children’s but thanks to medical science, if there are any such complications medical facilities can be opted. In conclusion, marriage is a life-time commitment which needs maturity in relations, hence people marrying at young age finds difficulties to handle. Therefore, I believe people marrying older are mature and financially capable to manage marriages and disagree that it has any adverse effects on family.
In general
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays are
slightly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married. I completely disagree with the statement that there would be any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
financially
more secure, they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
paying jobs, and they are mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
handle
relationships. They have achieved everything required to raise a healthy family.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marrying
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
are
financially
more secure to take care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. They have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
paying jobs to provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
lifestyle to their children’s. They can focus more on their child/children’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are strong
financially
, and they don’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
run for money leaving their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
unattended. In my locality, I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the couples") or simply say "most couples".
most of couples
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
married at late
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "30s".
30’s
or early
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "40s".
40’s
they have happy married life without any negativity. They are raising their child by providing the required moral and financial support.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
getting married at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
are mature, they know value of relations and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
handle
relationship
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are less kiddish
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marrying
at younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. They know how to manage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and take care of the responsibilities such as managing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
with their spouse,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in raising children’s. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up making stronger bonds with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
For instance
, statistics states that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who marry earlier have more chances of getting divorced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are immature to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
handle
complicated relations
in comparison
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
getting married at later years as they are more committed towards relationships.

On flip side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that getting married in late
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "30s".
30’s
or
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "40s".
40’s
would be less fertile to have children’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
thanks to medical science, if there are any such complications medical facilities can
be opted
.

In conclusion
, marriage is a life-time commitment which needs maturity in relations,
hence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marrying
at young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
finds difficulties to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
handle
.
Therefore
, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marrying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
are mature and
financially
capable to manage marriages and disagree that it has any adverse effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
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IELTS essay As the average age at which people get married increases, some people worry that will have negative impact on the family.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
333 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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