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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Professional athletes, such as football and basketball players, do not deserve the high salaries that they are paid.

Some people believe that the professional athletes should earn a huge amount of money since they deserve that. However, others think and believe that the athletes, high wages are unfair. I personally agree with the second group. First, In this day and age of boycott of country, and with the limited budget, suitable and useful planning for the available budgets is one of the most important and necessary responsibilities of the government. My personal experience is a compelling example of this. We can use that budget for the help of starving people in less economically developing countries, or building school buildings for the children in poverty regions. If the money that spent on the professional athletes are used on the purpose of these necessities of life, thousands of people will be benefited, which is more meaningful in my opinion. Second, closing a fixed contract with large budget cause that, sometimes they do not do their job in the best way. They salaries and incomes are guaranteed. There are no any factors to eliminate their wage source. They gain the money either they win the match or not. They are not motivated to present their best function. For example, one of our country's star football player. In one of the important match with their competitor he did not play as well as he can, while he gains his salary completely. So that is not fairly. To conclude, the professional athletes do not deserve that give this amount of money. Not only they are not positive effect on society, but also they do not have a sense of responsibility and duty to the money they receive.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
should earn a huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
since they deserve that.
However
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
and believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
, high wages are unfair. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the second group.

First
, In this day and age of boycott of country, and with the limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
, suitable and useful planning for the available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budgets
is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and necessary responsibilities of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. My personal experience is a compelling example of this. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of starving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in less
economically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
, or building school buildings for the children in poverty regions. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
that spent on the professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
on the purpose of these necessities of life, thousands of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
be benefited
, which is more meaningful in my opinion.

Second, closing a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
contract with large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
cause that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they do not do their job in the best way.
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun ‘They’. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
They salaries
and incomes
are guaranteed
. There are
Did you mean “now” (=at this moment) instead of ‘no’ (negation)?
no
any factors to eliminate their wage source. They gain the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
either they win the match or not. They are not motivated to present their best function.
For example
, one of our country's star football player. In one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
match with their competitor he did not play
as well
as he can, while he gains his salary completely.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that is
not
fairly
.

To conclude
, the professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
do not deserve that give this amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
they are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they do not have a sense of responsibility and duty to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
they receive.
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IELTS essay Professional athletes, such as football and basketball players, do not deserve the high salaries that they are paid.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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