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products are there in the market, it will never appease their thirst to buy new products

With the development of consumerism, the markets are flooded with various types of goods which in turn gives too many choices for people to select from. Sometimes people feel perplexed when they have to decide what product to buy. I do agree with the given statement and this essay will support my perception. The world has come together due to globalization and products manufactured even in other countries are also available in the local market which resulted in influx of products to the market. For an example, two or three decades ago we only had one or two television brands to select from, in contrast to present where we have more than ten television brands to choose from. Owing to this fact, the consumers are given the flexibility to take many factors such as other customer reviews, price and durability into consideration when they select a product. One can say that a significant reason for availability of many choices is that people tend to buy products not because they need them but because they want to show the social status by buying products of certain brands. For an instance, Apple company release flagship phones almost in every year as they know that they have a set of customers who have a strong desire to upgrade their phones despite the fact that very few changes have been done in the new version compared to the previous version. The inescapable fact is that, having too many choices means that numerous jobs are created for the people due to opening up of new factories and businesses. This has resulted in decline of unemployment in many countries. So one can argue that it is beneficial for people to have too many choices as it means more jobs are created. To sum up, in the present society, people are always eager to try new products even though they don’t have the actual requirement. Hence no matter how many products are there in the market, it will never appease their thirst to buy new products.
With the development of consumerism, the markets
are flooded
with various types of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
which in turn gives too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to select from.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel perplexed when they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
decide what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
. I do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement and this essay will support my perception.

The world has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
together due to globalization and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
manufactured even in other countries are
also
available in the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
which resulted in influx of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
. For an example, two or three decades ago we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
had one or two television brands to select from,
in contrast
to present where we have more than ten television brands to choose from. Owing to this fact, the consumers are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the flexibility to take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors such as other customer reviews, price and durability into consideration when they select a product.

One can say that a significant reason for availability of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they need them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the social status by buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
of certain brands. For an instance, Apple
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
release flagship phones almost in every year as they know that they have a set of customers who have a strong desire to upgrade their phones despite the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
have
been done
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
version compared to the previous version.

The inescapable fact is that, having too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
means that numerous jobs
are created
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
due to opening up of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
factories and businesses. This has resulted in decline of unemployment in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
one can argue that it is beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
as it means more jobs
are created
.

To sum up, in the present society,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are always eager to try
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
even though
they don’t have the actual requirement.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
no matter how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are there in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
, it will never appease their thirst to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
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IELTS essay products are there in the market, it will never appease their thirst to buy new products

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
339 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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