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production of consumer goods

production of consumer goods e5pEO
It has been observed that swelling in the manufacture of customer products effects in harm of our natural atmosphere. There are several reasoned for such a situation. However, there are some primitive steps that can be taken to overcome this issue. Both Causes and Remedies are explained Further. Out of all reasons, the foremost one is the population in the world is surging. That’s why layman requirement towards product has been raised. Eventually, Government should more use natural resources to make the product. When the companies make this product, they excavate so many bad contaminants in the environment For example, India is the second-largest populated country in the world. The number of humans increases in the last five years. so it required more fossil fuel, food, and some other daily usage product. Moreover, it cannot be denied that the tourism industry is evolved in the last three years. Which is influenced on many sectors such as hotel, transportation and some others. They are tried to more developed in their sector Such as the number of hotel increase, number of Bus rise, etc. Finally, it impacts on the environment. For example, the number of buses rise, so they required more fossil fuel and it is exhausted more carbon dioxide which is a cause of rising temperature in the world. Although, there are some remedies that can be taken to tackle this situation. Primarily, Authorities of every nation could start a campaign about reduce the population because it is a major reason of pollution. For example, China started the spread awareness about it in two years ago. Currently. They controlled in a rising number of people. Apart from this, the price of tourism facilities and migration taxes would increase so people do not prefer to migrate to other countries. To sum up and offer my conclusion. It can be stated that the damages of our environment. I explained some reason of this issue and also I illustrate how to tackle this situation.
It has
been observed
that swelling in the manufacture of customer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
effects in harm of our natural atmosphere. There are
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "severals"?
several
reasoned for such a situation.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
primitive steps that can
be taken
to overcome this issue. Both Causes and Remedies are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
Further
.

Out of all reasons, the foremost one is the population in the world is surging. That’s why layman requirement towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
has
been raised
.
Eventually
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
natural resources to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. When the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
, they excavate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
contaminants in the environment
For example
, India is the second-largest populated country in the world. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of humans increases in the last five years.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
it required more fossil fuel, food, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other daily usage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
Moreover
, it cannot
be denied
that the tourism industry
is evolved
in the last three years. Which
is influenced
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sectors such as hotel, transportation and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others. They
are tried
to more developed in their sector Such as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of hotel increase,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of Bus rise, etc.
Finally
, it impacts on the environment.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of buses rise,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they required more fossil fuel and it
is exhausted
more carbon dioxide which is a cause of rising temperature in the world.

“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
remedies that can
be taken
to tackle this situation.
Primarily
, Authorities of every nation could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a campaign about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the population
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is a major reason of pollution.
For example
, China
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
the spread awareness about it in two years ago.
Currently
. They controlled in a rising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Apart from this, the price of tourism facilities and migration taxes would increase
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not prefer to migrate to other countries.

To sum up and offer my conclusion. It can
be stated
that the damages of our environment. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reason of this issue and
also
I illustrate how to tackle this situation.
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IELTS essay production of consumer goods

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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